IUI #5

I will start with yesterday, the ultrasound day.  Last month I responded really quickly to the new med Femara and detected ovulation early on CD 11.  Normally the ultrasounds are not done until CD 14 or 15 however since we detected ovulation so early, they went ahead and done ultrasound next day.  Thank God we did because they said that if we hadn't of detected it, that it would have been too late and we would have missed ovulation all together and wouldn't have had procedure last month.  Well, this month since I responded so quickly last month, they went ahead and brought me in on CD11 for ultrasound.  This time, I didn't have all the symptoms of ovulation and I hadn't detected ovulation yet so I thought maybe I didn't respond as quickly this month as I did last month.  Well, obviously I was wrong, because I had an egg follicle at 21.5mm and we went ahead and got shot yesterday and scheduled me for the IUI today.

As I said the other day, this IUI was going to be tuff because Trent was not going to be able to be with me for this one however, he absolutely refused to skip a month and put it off.  I was so very grateful that my mom was able to come to my house and stay the weekend with me and also be able to go with me for my IUI.  Yesterday after the ultrasound, when we found out that IUI would definitely be today, Trent said "I expect your mom to cover my job tomorrow"  I text that to mom and her response was "I got the timer covered"  This is so funny because after EVERY SINGLE IUI that we have had, Trent has always turned the time up from 15 minutes that we have to lay to 20 minutes.  He always wants me to lay longer than what they say to but that is perfectly fine with me because I am never ready to get up when time is up anyways.  Anyways, today went exceptionally well.  Obviously I missed Trent tremendously but there was nothing that we could do about it.  I made sure to call him several times and text him throughout everything.  As we were waiting for the vial to unthaw, I thought I heard a woman say "Whoever is going to do hers today will be here until 4:00"  It had already seemed like it was taking longer than normal and my heart immediately sank.  I was afraid they were talking about me and I was afraid that meant that our numbers were bad in the 1 vial we unthawed and I thought we were going to have to wait on unthawing a 2nd vial.  It wasn't 5 minutes later, they came and got me and I said "I hope you have good news for me"  I looked down at the chart and saw 13.8million motile sperm count.  I about died when I saw this.  For 1, I already had in my mind that it was bad and we were going to have to unthaw a 2nd vial.  For 2, this is the best count we have ever had and for 3, I was totally shocked at the number because the paperwork I have states that there was only about 13.4 million motile sperm count before unthawing.  This means that we have more motile sperm after thawing than there even was in the vial all together.  There could be 2 reasons for this.  1)  There were 2 vials from that same day so maybe they just took a collective number and split it in half and said each vial had half of the total number.  In doing that, maybe it ended up where more than half the total number ended up in 1 vial and less than half ended up in the other vial. or 2) maybe someone miss counted either the Cryobank or the Fertility Center.  We would like to believe that option number 1 was the reasoning for the WONDERFUL numbers.  Anyways, back to the story.  When I saw on the chart walking down the hall that our numbers were 13.8 million motile, I immediately had to text Trent and tell him the wonderful news.  He was tickled to death and responded with Whooo Hooo.  Once we got in the room, I told the woman to give us a few minutes before I changed to pray then me and mom prayed, I got changed and the nurse came in.  First thing she said when she came back in was "I was praying with ya'll out there".  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Kristin done the procedure again this time.  We just loved the fact that she said she was praying with us.  Procedure went great.  Nice and quick as usual and then we were out of there.

Since mom had to take care of Trent's job today, we made sure to get all the same pictures as me and Trent normally does together. 

In the waiting room waiting on the vials to thaw

Right after IUI was done.

Mom making sure to get Trent's job done.  If you will remember, we got
a picture of Trent doing this the last IUI.

Me talking to Trentie after the IUI and letting him know how it went.

I wish I could have gotten a picture of it but I was driving so I couldn't.  Almost the whole way home, there was a little rainbow in the sky and it hadn't even rained at all.  We said that was God's promise to us.  On the way home, mom also talked to my daddy and he said "Today is the day".  I just pray that all of this is good signs and we will get pregnant off of IUI#5.

UPDATE:  I totally forgot to add a couple of important things.  1)  Another wonderful thing that happened today was we had a $70 credit that we were unaware of therefore this IUI was cheaper than normal.  With the cost we have already paid, this is always a HUGE plus to know we have saved money.  If we can save a penny, we are tickled to death. lol
2)  I forgot to tell when we test and all that good stuff.  We will be testing on February 9th so hopefully we will have the best Valentines Day we could ever imagine.  The funny thing about this month is Trent has ALWAYS wanted to have a spook baby and if we are pregnant off of this month of IUI, we will be due around October 22nd so Trent will get what he has always wanted.  Which will also be great because little Miss Kellen and our baby will only be 6 months apart.  Trent will be off of work the day that we test so that will be good that he won't have to deal with work after getting the news.  Hopefully this time it won't matter and we can just celebrate instead of sulking. lol

I figured while I was updating the blog, I would go ahead and post a couple of Beautiful sunset pictures tonight as we were coming home.  I didn't get our promising rainbow but we did get the pretty sunset.

Zoomed in

Upcoming IUI and Updates

Never give up. This may be your moment for a miracle. - Greg Anderson

I post this quote because I really needed to hear this.  This month is a sad month as far as IUI goes and I really considered putting this month off more than I ever have before but Trent absolutely refuses to put it off.  He is just so ready for everything to happen, he doesn't want a break regardless of what the situation is until we are forced into one (which will be after this month if it doesnt work)This month is the first month that we have came across any problems in the IUI date and work schedules.  In our 4 previous IUI's if we were scheduled to work, we were both easily able to get off work.  This time is different.  Thursday is the day we have the Ultrasound and if everything looks good with the ultrasound, IUI#5 will be on Friday.  Trent is off work Thursday so the ultrasound is no problem however, he has to work Friday and is unable to get off of work.  There is already someone else taking off and only 1 person can take off at a time.  The other person has to take off for his wife's surgery so there is no getting around it.  Too bad this ain't his week to work Thursday and be off Friday because I wouldn't care at all to go to Ultrasound by myself.

I am very blessed and so very grateful because my mom is going to get to go with me and it will just be me and her.  I am so glad she is able to take off work and be with me.  I could go by myself but it is just not something I want to be alone for.

It will be just our luck that this is the 1 time Trent can't go and you just watch, this will end up being the one that works. 

I guess I will update everyone after Friday and let everyone know how everything goes.  Please keep us in your prayers that everything goes well. 

Other than the sadness of the upcoming IUI, we are doing great.  No complaints but I will briefly update everyone.  We have been attending Mars Hill Baptist Church for several months now but on Sunday, we officially became members of the church.  We just love the church and Pastor Micky and all his wonderful sermons that he preaches.  We just feel so at home there.  Trent has been doing well since his Lithotripsy.  He only had pain 1 time and that was a couple days after the procedure.  He has pain for about 30 minutes and then a day or 2 later, passed a pretty big chunk of the busted up stone.  I think he has passed all the pieces of stone by now or it seems like it atleast.  Of course, we get him over one thing and then he gets another.  Thank God this time he doesn't have the N/V/D but he has congested, stopped up, sore throat and all that good stuff.  The doctor was shocked that his Strep test wasn't positive because he said Trent's throat looked horrible.  He is on antibiotics and all that good stuff so hopefully he will get feeling better soon.  Other than that, I really can't think of anything new that we have had going on.

And to end this blog, I have to show off my 2 most recent projects.  Two onesies that I made baby Kellen.

Trent will be called Uncle PoPo

I am Auntie Nay Nay.  That came from my middle
name NaCole.

Miss Kellen NaCole

I know this is not our normal blog update but I just am so very excited about my little niece that is on the way so I wanted to show some things off. 

Oh how my sweet little niece Miss Kellen NaCole is so very spoiled already.  Auntie Nay Nay can't walk into anywhere without buying her something and she ain't even gonna be here until April. 

I bought miss Kellen all these bows and headbands and then I made the
hairbow and headband holder that they are hanging on.
I just Love it.

An outfit that I got Kellen and then I made the hairbow to go with it.

Another outfit that I got Kellen and a bow that I made to match it.
This bow it super cute.

There is something else that I am going to make, but it will have to stay a secret until after I do it.  I made one tonight but I messed it up because I wasn't being cautious with it.  I was just basically doing a tester.  As crazy as I have went over miss Kellen, I can not imagine what it will be like if we ever find out that we are pregnant. 

Speaking of if we ever get pregnant, we go back in on Thursday for our ultrasound and if everything looks good, we will go back Friday for IUI #5.  I know we say it every time but we hope and pray that it works this time.

Anyways, I Just wanted to show off a few of Kellen's things that I think are too cute.

Quick Blog - Fertility and Lithotripsy

First of all, I want to start with a quote in which I found the other day and immediately thought of our donor.  I feel as if we will never be able to repay him for everything that has been done for us.  This quote also makes me think of all those who have been so super supportive for us however he was definately the first one that I thought of.

"One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind" - Malayan Proverb.

This next quote I think is wonderful for everything we have went through.  I often wonder when it is time to move on and I often get questioned from others which sometimes makes me wonder even more however this next quote I apply to myself also. 

Never let anyone tell you, you can't do something, especially if they haven't done it!
- Unknown 

I sometimes tell myself I can't do this anymore however, I can't tell myself that I can't do this because I have been doing it for so long now that I know it is doable.  I sometimes doubt myself but I know with God that nothing is impossible.  We can do absolutely anything that we set our minds to. 

Today is CD1 therefore I will start my meds again on Wednesday.  We do not look forward to this since it made me moody last month but, we gotta do what we gotta do.  Normally they would bring me in to do the ultrasound on CD14 however, last month I detected ovulation on the new meds on CD11 therefore we went in on CD12 for the ultrasound.  They said that I had not ovulated yet however again, I was so close to ovulation that it detected it.  They had also said that if we had went in on our original scheduled date, it would have most likely been to late and we wouldn't have been able to do procedure.  All that being said, they said that I responded extra well to the new med Femara and they are having me to do the ultrasound on CD11 this month which means that we go in next week on Thursday.  If everything looks good then, we will do IUI on Friday.  I can't believe time has already rolled around and it is time for yet another round of IUI.  After this month, we will be forced into our couple month break.  Hopefully that break won't be needed and IUI#5 will do the trick but if it doesn't, I am anxious to see what the break will feel like.  I think I will feel unproductive and wish we were continuing with IUI's however, we do feel like the break will be a good thing.  We shall see.

Now on to Trent's Lithotripsy from today.  Today went well and the doctor seemed very hopeful.  He said that when he hit the stone with the shockwaves that it busted up so well, it basically disappeared.  He said normally that is a really good sign.  Hopefully he will be right.  Trent is actually feeling pretty good tonight after the procedure.  With the last one he had, he was pretty sore but with this one, he hasn't seemed to be that sore yet.  Who knows, that may hit tomorrow.  His biggest thing is he was still very sleepy after waking up from anesthesia.  He hasn't ever seemed to be so sleepy before after coming out of the anesthesia but I think they gave him an extra dose of it today. lol.  Hopefully after today, he has no stones and the diuretics the doctor put him on will do the trick and help prevent them in the future.  My Trentie has still not had a coke and is now almost 3 weeks coke free.  So very proud of him.  Hopefully this will also help with the stone production.

Just wanted to update everyone on our crazy filled lives and hope everyone else is doing well.

IUI #4 = another FAIL!

I do apologize because this is a rather lengthy blog as I talked to the doctors office today and got alot of information part of which we already knew.

Well, quiet obviously, by the subject, you can tell we got another Negative.  This morning when I woke up first thing I done was tested.  Trent was actually off work today so our deal was that I would not wake him up unless it was good news.  Since it was bad news, I just continued getting ready.  Of course, as I am getting ready, I am thinking about it.  I am not crying and I am holding up as good as possible.  Well, As I was brushing my teeth, I stepped out in the room to get something and Trent grunts and motions me to him.  I walk over to him and he says "No?".  I replied "No, I'm sorry baby".  At that point, I start crying.  I always seem to be ok until I talk to him but as soon as I talk to him, it is just so difficult to hold it together.  I feel sorry for myself for not becoming a parent yet but more than anything, I feel guilty and bad that my husband is not a father yet.  I know just how bad he wants this to happen and it absolutely breaks my heart to see him so disappointed month after month.  As I have previously said, our donor has froze more vials for us and we now have 6 vials left.  That is wonderful saying that we have already had 4 IUI's and have used 5 vials.  This means that we have 5 - 6 tries left.  That is WONDERFUL but at the same time, I can't help but to wonder when we will get to the point to where we think enough is just enough.  I know one thing for sure, we are DEFINITELY not to that point yet.  The good thing about having 6 more vials is even if we do decide to give it a break for a while, we will still have those vials for whenever we are ready to go back at it.

Talking about taking a break, after this month, we will be forced into about a 3 month wait while the new vials are in their quarantine period.  If some of you were not following the blog a while back, you may not know all the little details but the vials have to quarantine for at least 3 months before they can be used and then more blood work has to be done on the donor and then they will be available for us to use.  We are figuring our new vials should be ready sometime in April so we will have a wait from about February to at least April if not May.  Both me and Trent have agreed that we are not ready to take a break quiet yet however the forced break starting next month will probably be the best thing for us.  During the break, we will just be able to take it easy and not have to worry about medications, ultrasounds, cycle days, drives to Nashville, IUI, and all the other headaches of infertility. 

After talking to the doctors office today, we pretty much knew this already but had not been told by them but we can not take more than 6 consecutive months of fertility meds without taking a break.  How long of a break?  I don't know.  That is actually a question that I forgot to ask.  If we continue with IUI#5 this month, that will be 5 consecutive months on fertility meds and since we will HAVE to sit out next month for a couple of months, I imagine that we will be good to go after that.  I did talk to them again about doing more than 3 rounds of IUI on Femara before doctor giving up on us and they again said that if we refused IVF that they imagined he would definitely let us do more IUI's.  They did say though that if we turn down IVF and continue with IUI, we may have to take a break just so that I am not taking fertility meds consecutively.  Fertility drugs can be bad for you and it does terify me of what I could be doing to my body but I am atleast a peace knowing that I was doing it for a good cause.  Anyways, The way I look at it is we have 6 vials.  Lets use all 6 vials and if we are still not pregnant, its time to move on to other things.  We have talked more lately about adoption as that has ALWAYS been a possibility but we just don't feel like we are quiet to that point yet. 

One other thing that we found out after talking to the doctors office today.  I will start by saying some of our vials were collected by the Sperm Bank in California (CCB from here on out) and the most recent were collected at our Fertility Center (NFC from here on out).  CCB does there sperm preservation and freezing differently than NFC does and the way NFC does it, we end up with more sperm count than what we do with CCB.  They explained to me why this was and it made perfect sense but is too difficult for me to explain.  In saying all of this, the most recent was done at NFC and has the best numbers but won't be ready for a few months.  We had briefly talked about maybe going ahead and taking a break until our good vials from NFC are ready and not even wasting the heartache and emotions on the CCB vial we have left until we have to use it.  We almost thought about saving it till very last and just making our next try an awesome try with NFC vials which means our next IUI would be in sometime late April or May.  We will just have to take the next couple of days to really make this decision.  As it appears now, we will most likely go ahead and use the CCB vial we have left this month but we will see.  We actually have 2 CCB vials left.  1 being decent and 1 being not so good at all so I keep saying 1 because I am depending on the decent one.

This may seem totally random but I feel as if it ties in with everything.  As we tested negative this morning, I couldn't help but to think about my sweet little niece that I will get to meet in April.  Thinking of little Miss Kellen makes me so happy.  I have had several people to ask "Are you happy for your sister?"  As I am getting asked that, I think how ridiculous of a question could someone ask.  Why in the world would I want my sister to experience and go through what me and Trent have had to go through?  Yes I am absolutely jealous of her but so very tickled to death for her.  I mean for goodness sake, I can't quit buying and making her things already.  Auntie Nay Nay is going to have little Miss Kellen spoiled rotten.  I had posted it on facebook but some may not have seen it and I just have to say it.  Everytime I talk to little Miss Kellen, she responds to me.  Everytime, she kicks her mommy.  She already loves her Auntie Nay Nay.

Speaking of things I have bought her, you gotta see my most recent.  I think it is just totally adorable and I love love love it.  I am so horrible at secrets and my sister already knows absolutely everything I have gotten her.  She won't have any surprises at her shower.  My most recent thing is onesies with stickers for each month 1-12 months.  You take their picture and see how much they have grew during the year.  Amber loves "Head Dressings" as she called it to me so I thought what not a better way to make little Miss Kellen even cuter than she will already be by adding cute little headbands and bows to each onesie.  Anyways, I have posted pictures of Months 1-9 and I have to get more onesies for months 10-12 then I will have to post pictures of them too.  (In some of the pictures, you can't tell how they match as well because some of them have small design in the back ground with color in it.  For instance, 2 Months has a purple bow but you can't really see purple in the sticker but it is there in small decoration.)

1-3 Months with matching headbands to take pictures in

4-6 Months with Matching Headbands to take pictures in.

7-9 Months with matching headbands to take pictures in

Just cute stuff I got little Miss Kellen.  The diaper cover
and headband are to take pictures in and then the
toboggan I just thought was too cute and had
to add a cute bow to it.

One thing I really really look forward to is our vacation this year.  We always start planning our yerly vacation at the first of the year and we need this vacation more than anything.  I absolutely can not wait to get away and relax and chill for a bit.

 

I want to end this blog by saying I am simply amazed at all the love, support and encouragement that we get from some friends and family during our hard times we are going through. It is so very difficult on the days that we get a negative but all the thoughtful comments definitely help to get me through it. Honestly, if it weren't for Trent, I would come close to giving up but other than Trent, I won't lie, we have had people to say that we are a testimony and an inspiration and that definitely helps to push me right along and helps me to realize each and every time that we absolutely CAN NOT give up.  Thank you so much to anyone who has offered encouraging words, thoughtfulness and prayers through all of my difficult infertility post.  You will never know how much it means to me and it definitely makes you realize who your true friends and family are.  I never imagined having such love and support by so many in such trying times.

Poor Poor Trentie!

Well, life is treating us well for now.  Well, I say it is treating us well but there are a few bumps in our road right now. 

Poor Trent is all I can say.  First of all, the new medicine they have put me on has made me moodier than normal....I mean, its not an every day thing but when it hits me, it hits me.  For the most part, I am not just down right mean moody.  I will be grumpy but be smiling at the same time.  There has been a few moments thought that I have just been down right grumpy.  We really pray I am pregnant so that I don't have to go back through another round of this medication especially since the Clomid didn't do this to me.  My sister is pregnant and has been hilarious since she has been pregnant and tonight, Trent asked why I couldn't be more like her lol.  She claims pregnancy doesn't give you funny hormones but it sure has for her.  Maybe my hormones will change from moody to funny soon. lol

Secondly, I say poor poor Trent because he has yet again got kidney stones.  I am pretty sure I blogged it but I don't remember.  Back in November, he passed 2 stones and then was fine up until the week before Christmas.  He started complaining of having some discomfort in his back and side about a week before Christmas.  It wasn't constant but it was there.  Well, as usual when he gets kidney stones, he got the deathly ill Nausea, Vomiting and Diarrhea.  Well these deathly ill symptoms happened on the worst day.  Trent is just like a kid at Christmas time.  He LOVES Christmas.  Yep, he got the deathly ill symptoms on Christmas day.  The day after Christmas, he had really bad severe pain in his back and side.  From there, we decided that we would call the doctor even if he passed the stone on his own so that we could talk to him about trying some medication to try and prevent future kidney stones or at least try to prevent them from happening as often.  Well, he didn't end up passing them on his own and we met with the doctor.  We actually had to go to a new doctor because his doctor could not get him in for 2 weeks and the new doctor got him in the next day.  Unfortunately, we LOVED his old doctor.  We have seen his old doctor for not only the kidney stones but he was the one that had diagnosed his congenital absence of the vas.  We hated to switch doctors because he has helped us so much and again, we LOVED him.  Well, the new doctor is also Trent's dads kidney stone doctor and he has always really liked him alot so we gave him a try.  We are very pleased with the new doctor and it seems that we will Love him as well so I guess it didn't hurt to switch doctors after all.  It just really left us frustrated that his doctor couldn't see him for 2 weeks and a new doctor that didn't know him from adam got him in the very next day.  Anyways, the new doctor did put Trent on medicine and told him he absolutely HAD to start drinking more water or else the medicine could make the kidney stones worse.  He put Trent on diuretics to help keep the calcium flushed out of his kidneys and also set him up for a CT Scan.  Well, we got CT results back today and he has a 7mm kidney stone in his left kidney which the doctor believes could cause problems if it is not taken care of.  Trent is now scheduled for Lithotripsy on the 16th to bust the stone up and get rid of it.  Luckily, this is the only stone that was seen on the CT Scan so hopefully we can get it busted up and hopefully the diuretics will do its job and keep his kidneys clean of calcium.  Since the only stone seen is fixing to be busted up, it should be pretty easy to tell if the diuretics do help since after the 16th he will hopefully have none.  If he gets them again soon, we will know the medicine is not working.  Haha, I know it seems crazy but we knew we might need them for the future and we have saved 4 stones that Trent has passed on his own.  Luckily we kept them because the doctor did want them to send them off for analysis to see what his stones are made of.  We have had this done once before and the stone was made of Calcium Phosphate.  We should be getting those results back next week and depending on what these stones are made of, they may try him on more meds. 

I am so very proud of my Trentie.  Every since he seen the doctor on December 28th and was told he HAD to drink more water, he has not had a coke.  And while talking about that, I am very proud of myself because I have now not had a coke in 6 months.  Yah!  Go us!

Other than those couple things, life is treating us great.  Time is flying by thank God because that means we don't have time to focus on 2WW and things with fertility.  We are now only 5 days away from testing and hopefully my Trentie will have him an awesome late Birthday present.  There would be nothing better in this world right now than to find out we are expecting.

Every since I went to day shift about a month ago, I feel as if I have been missing in action.  I used to live on my computer but it is very rare that I get on it now.  I am liking day shift though and we are tickled to death that we are both on same shifts again.  The only part that sucks about me going to days is I was only working 3 days a week and I am now working 5 days a week. It's really not that bad though.  I have really been living on my sewing machine lately.  I am loving playing with it and making all kinds of different things.  I am never on the computer because what little time I have after getting home from work, I am on the sewing machine. lol.

Anyways, we hope you all are doing well and hope you had a Happy New Year!