Struggling Tonight

When we were told what day to test, we were both originally scheduled to be off of work however, since Trent has went to days, he is working opposite days of the week than what he was so he now will be working on the day that we test.  He tried to take off but someone else already is so I am off work but Trent will be working.

I am really struggling tonight and very emotional over the fact that Trent will be working.  Last month, we were fortunate enough to be in St Louis while we tested so it was a great way to keep our mind off of things however this time, I will be alone.  I pray now more than ever that we get good news because if not, it is going to be one heck of a miserable day all by myself.  If we get good news, it will be fine because I won't struggle with being alone but I will be sad that Trent won't be off with me to celebrate.  I will have to try to think of some special way to tell him while he is at work if we are.  I don't want to just call and tell him, I want it to be very special. 

It messes everything up that he has to work because if we are pregnant, we were going to try to make a surprise trip to Manchester to tell my family in person instead of on the phone.  It just really makes everything so much more difficult.

Times like now is times that I really miss and hate being so far away from family.  If I were still close to family, I wouldn't have to worry about being alone. 

We were told to test on Monday the 14th which I believe is at least a day too soon but I seriously now want to test even a day sooner on Sunday the 13th so that me and Trent will be off together.  I know if I do test on Sunday though that I am just torturing myself if it comes back negative since it could be too soon.  I would consider putting it off a couple of days however we will not be off together after the 13th until the 21st so we would be putting it off a whole week.  Obviously we aren't going to do that because we are too anxious and we have to call the doctor to have blood work confirm it if it comes back positive so we can't wait a whole week. 

Please keep us in your prayers for Monday.  We pray that we get Wonderful news but if we don't get good news, we just need some major prayers for some big time peace and comfort that day.  We also need prayers on making the right decision as far as trying again in December or taking a month break and starting back in January.  I am pretty sure we would do it again in December but it is all so very overwhelming and going to be difficult to get another possible negative.