Every Girls Dream

Ok, I have been stalling for forever on blogging because me and Trent has had so much going on and I have just not felt in the blogging spirit. I will give you the one BIG update that has gotten me out of the blogging spirit and then I will try to update on some that has went on since then at a later time.

Now for the big news. I have thought and thought of how I would blog all of this mess and the more I thought about it, it just felt so overwhelming however on the same hand, it will feel so good to let it out. I will not go into huge detail but will fill everyone in on everything.

As we all know, it is most every little girls dream to find that Mr. Perfect and begin a family. God Blessed me almost 8 years ago with my Mr. Perfect, my best friend for life that I began my wonderful Married life with 2 and a half years ago. I thank God each and every day for blessing me with such a wonderful man. When me and Trent met and before getting married, we both agreed we wanted 2 and no more than 3 kids. PERFECT, right? We both want kids and agree on the number. We also both agree to start trying a year to 2 years after getting married. Another PERFECT, right? Well up to this point yes, everything is PERFECT. We came off Birth Control and begin trying to extend our family 1 year to the month after getting married. We were both so excited and absolutely could not wait to get the news and to give our parents the news that they would be grandparents. We even thought out ways to tell our parents. (I knew once I started blogging, I would cry and now the tears are coming) I am now crying cause I am thinking of how I was going to tell my daddy. I bought a stuffed bear and had a onesie made and put on the bear that said I love my Papa Vaughn. Everything was so perfect. Well, month after month went by and we started getting down and not understanding why we were not pregnant. After a year and a month, I went to the doctor to begin the process of finding out why we had not gotten our little bundle of joy yet. Test 1 was done and everything was basically very normal with it, showing not much reason we shouldn't have gotten pregnant by then. Dr then said he wanted to wait a month and do my second test and then in the mean time, have Trent tested also. Well, it just so happened that my second test and Trent's first test was on the same day. We would go to Trent's appointment and then go to mine. During Trent's appointment, they done the routine check. During the routine check, we could tell the Dr was not quiet finding what he wanted. Trent done his test (everyone gets the point right?) and we wait about 20 minutes and they came back in with the news. Trent had zero sperm and they were unable to feel his vas. For anyone who is not familiar with that, the vas is the tube that carries sperm outside of the body and the vas is also what is snipped during a vasectomy. We then called the doctor to see if he wanted me to still go to my second test and they did, just to make sure that it would turn out ok and also the next test is something that would have to be ran in the future anyways if we decide to do any type of fertility. That test also came back normal. Trent was then scheduled for yet another test with more in depth testing to see if his semen came back with fructose which would give us more answers. About a month later, Trent done his second test which came back with no fructose and yet again zero sperm. This pretty much guaranteed for us that Trent was born with a congenital absence of the vas. We were then referred the the Nashville Fertility Center where we got our options of what we could do.

Option 1 = InVitro = $20,000 (normally they have a flat rate package plan where it is usually around $12,000 but because of our situation, it would cost more)

Option 2 = Sperm Donor = $1,000 (if we done this, we consider using Trent's brother due to it being as close to Trent as you can get)

Option 3 = Adoption = (we have always said even before getting married that we would do adoption but now it is actually something we are facing and it is terrifying.)

All of our above options are absolutely terrifying for us due to the fact that InVitro is so expensive, can we really take those risk and it not work. Sperm donor is just terrifying because I feel we should start on equal terms and it be neither one of ours. Adoption is terrifying because you just never know everything about the situation.

Option 4 = Be alone with no kids and Travel the world. We absolutely LOVE to travel so we do consider this option also. As pretty much everyone knows, we met playing baseball and LOVE to go to games so a personal goal we have made is to visit every MLB field in the United States and this would give us the opportunity to do so.

We just found out in August there was a problem and in September got our options therefore right now, we are just taking time basically to cope with the news and be able to make the right decision so for now, we will just be taking it easy and trying to enjoy life.

Ok, now that everyone is filled in on our little Fertility Journey, I hope you all understand why I have failed you all in the blogging world.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers as this is not a very easy time in our life right now. It is so very difficult to understand why there are crappy people out there that can reproduce, peoples marriages are falling apart but can reproduce, etc.

Other than this hurdle in life, the Haddock's are doing absolutely fantastic. God has ABSOLUTELY blessed our marriage and our lives beyond all belief and I am so very grateful for that. I have been saying what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger and I love the way we have just totally bonded and worked through this together. I really feel like we have the absolute PERFECT marriage and I have ALWAYS said I never knew marriage would be so easy. We have recently started doing things like small get aways, board games, video games, etc that gets our mind off things and lets us just relax and enjoy ourselves.

THANK YOU GOD FOR BLESSING ME AND MY HOME AND MARRIAGE!!!