Mixed Feelings & Emotions

Well overall, today went well.  It started with us leaving the house with absolutely NO fears, not scared, not nervous, NOTHING but excited.  We were SO positive and We could not wait.  Half the way to Nashville, I was cracking up at my Sissy Kate as last night she had texted me and said that she hoped today went "Easy peezy turkey baster squeezy" lol.  That was great and the best laugh I have had in a while.  Anyways, As I posted yesterday we had to get there an hour and a half prior to procedure.  We get there, I verify things then starts the waiting.  Even during the whole waiting process, still not scared, nervous or anything.  Finally, they call my name and we go back, this is where everything would totally shift our outlook on things.  I won't go into much detail but will slightly explain how our outlook got shifted.

Me and Trent waiting to be called back.  At this point, everything was
still great and we were still very positive and so excited.

We had asked my mommy to go with us so that she could go back and
pray with us before the procedure.

We had also asked Trent's mom if she wanted to go with us but she was unable to get off work.

Yesterday, we asked how many vials they would use in 1 try as we had been told before that it could take anywhere from 1 - 3 vials per try.  The lady we asked said they would use 1 however if it did not appear to be enough, they would then consult us and let us make the final decision whether to use more or not.  Well, back to today.  The lady called our name and we went back to consult with her.  It was then that she informed us that there was no where near what they liked to see in that 1 vial and said that they had gotten someone pregnant off that amount before but she would recommend using another vial.  At that point, we asked her if we should use 3 due to the low amounts in the 1 vial and she said no because my uterus would not be able to hold enough for 3 vials therefore it would be a waste.  We then agreed to go ahead and use 2 as she recommended.  At that point, we were sent back out to the waiting room for 45 more minutes.  That 45 minutes were very tough as I was holding back tears and very anxious for them to just call our name again to get it done and over with.  All of our fears set in at that time. 

After the 45 minutes, she called us back again.  We were told the numbers were still low but better with the 2 vials combined and again she reassured us that they had gotten someone pregnant with less than that before so just stay positive.  She then left the room for me to get dressed and ready. 

After she left the room, before me getting changed, me, Trent and mom prayed with our hands on the vials.  Which was emotional but so much needed.  I got changed, the lady came back in and done the procedure.  The procedure did not take long at all but she talked to us during the whole thing to try to make it easier.  She was definitely very positive and helped things alot.  During the procedure, they actually put a catheter into my cervix and then put the sperm at the top of my uterus.  As she was doing the procedure, like I said, she was being VERY positive and she made a funny about there being 1 little "Hero" in there that was going to do its job. lol.  After the procedure, I had to lay there with my hips and legs raised for 15 minutes.

What a wonderful special time for me and hubby.  This picture will forever
be very special to me.

We were so very glad my mom got to join us and pray with us.
More than that though, mom really helped to lighten the situation and
emotions for us.  She just seemed to know all the right things to say
and make us laugh to know it was all ok.  This was also a very special
thing for my mom as a hopefully soon to be grandmother to this
hopeful child to get to experience.  I mean afterall, what grandparent
can say they were there when their grandchild was conceived. lol

Well, we will get to test on October 13th.  Today was a good day but also a tough day.  I guess we will see in 2 weeks how everything plays out.  Please keep in mind that this is a very difficult time for us which just became more difficult today therefore we will tell everyone the news as we are ready.

3 Eggs - 2 EXCELLENT & 1 "KNOCKIN ON THE BACK DOOR"

Today was a BIG day and tomorrow will be a HUGE day and 2 weeks from tomorrow will be a GIGANTIC day for us.  Today we went in for our ultrasound to see if my egg follicles were where they needed to be for ovulation.  The whole way to the Fertility Center,  it just did not seem real.  We weren't scared, nervous, stressed or anything like that.  All it seemed to be was that we were very anxious hoping that we would be ready to go today.  Finally once we pulled in the parking garage, it started feeling a little more real but still not totally.

Once we were taken back for the ultrasound, we took the opportunity to take pictures to always remember this special time for us and also so that we could scrapbook them. 

Me ready for Ultrasound with Ultrasound machine in background.

Me and Trentie waiting for Ultrasound with machine in background.

 The lady came in and started doing the ultrasound and pretty much immediately said you have 1 egg ready to go on the right side and 1 more egg "knockin on the back door ready" on the right side so you have 2 eggs total on the right side.  She moved to the left side and said, you have 1 more egg ready to go on the left side.  I have 3!!!! eggs right now 2 of which are of good size and 1 that is "knocking on the back door".  The size they look for are 18mm and my eggs were 20mm, 18mm, and 17mm.  They said because I still have another day to go that the one that is 17mm will more than likely also be a good one by the time tomorrow rolls around which also means that the other 2 that are good size could also grow a little more by then. 

After they done the ultrasound, they put us back in a small waiting area waiting on someone to come and get us and explain to us what was next. 

As we were waiting, we wanted to take a picture because we were so
excited that we had 3 eggs!!!

The lady came and got us took us into a consultation room and talked to us about what was next.  Since we have 2 good eggs and 1 "knocking on the back door", I got the HSG shot and we will return in the morning for procedure.  We have to get there at 10am so that they can get everything ready for us and then at 11:30am, we will have the procedure.  As we were talking to her, we had a couple of questions. 
1) How many eggs does a normal person have?  I thought I already knew the answer to this but Trent was asking me so I wanted to ask and make sure.  The normal person only has 1 egg a month however Clomid obviously did help me and I did get more eggs from it.  YAH, YAH, YAH!!!
2)  Trent's question to the woman was pretty funny because she knew what he was going to ask before he even got the full question out of his mouth.  He said "So since there are 3 eggs," and she butts in and says "with Clomid, there is a 5% chance of having multiples so yes it is a possibility but not much.  We do see it though"  Trent was laughing and said "well Multiples would be good but no more than twins, don't know much about triplets."  It gave us a good laugh that she knew right away what the question was.  We are still hoping and praying that since it is our generation and with the help of medicine, we will still hopefully end up with twins. 

We got to the check out area and handed the lady our sheet of paper.

At the bottom, highlighted in red, you will see it says
"IUI Tomorrow"

 When the woman saw the IUI tomorrow, she said something about it and Trent burst out with fist pump and a "WHOOHOOO" the woman gives a silly look cause she didn't know what Trent had said or done so when she looked up at him, he done it again and it gave us and her a good little laugh again. 

We are so very excited for tomorrow.  In 2 weeks after tomorrow, we will be able to test and see if we are pregnant.  The past year has flew by but these next 2 weeks will probably be the slowest 2 weeks of our lives.  It still does not totally feel real to us probably just because we have tried for so long.  We are praying that I will be a fertile myrtle and it will take the first time. 

Anyways, hopefully in a couple of weeks we will have some good news for everyone.  Thank you so very much for all the thoughtful, encouraging words, and prayers through all of this time.  It is very greatly appreciated.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers through the next couple of weeks and months.  If we get pregnant, we need prayers that everything is healthy and a good pregnancy and if not, we need prayers to be able to cope with it not happening and also for the next procedures to try again. 

Do you trust the Lords Provisions for You?

Today sermon in church was wonderful.  We just love the church we go to at Mars Hill and Brother Mickey is a wonderful preacher. 

In today's sermon, he was saying we must trust in the Lord's provisions for us.  It really got me thinking and really got me teared up.  As we sit there praying and tears running down my face, it hit me.  I totally trust in the Lord provisions for us with everything we are getting ready to face over the next week.  I look over to Trent and ask if he trust in the Lords provision for us and he grins and says yes.  As I am explaining to him why I am crying and feeling so good about everything and it working he replies with "yes, it is going to work and if it doesn't work, (he lifts my ring finger with my wedding set on it) and says THIS WORKS"  My Trentie, makes my heart Melt!!! Our Marriage is one thing that TOTALLY works.  We are so very blessed.

On the subject of everything working and most of you probably already saw this through facebook but the other night, both of us were working and Trent calls me out of no where and says "You know what, I just have this feeling, it is going to work the first time"  It was so great to hear such positivity and excitement. 

Friday before leaving for work, I saw a new movie advertised called Courageous and I immediately thought, I gottta see that.  Well Trent had never seen it advertised so I was telling him about it yesterday and showed him the movie trailer to it.  It is by the same makers of Fireproof and Facing the Giants.  Up until last night, I had not seen either of those movies however we watched Facing the Giants last night.  Wow, when we started that movie, I did not have a clue what it was about and boy did it hit very close to home.  It was a great Christian movie with several great things that stuck out to me.
1) Matthew 19:26 But with God all things are possible.
2)Revelation 3:7-8 (8) I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that noone can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

Anyways, back on the subject of Courageous.  Just after me showing Trent the movie trailer to it yesterday, at the end of church service, they played the trailer on the big screens and said that they are hoping to get the church group as a family together to all go to the movies together to watch it.  That is so great.  However, I do not think we will go with everyone.  It is supposed to come out Friday and I think after we leave the doctors office, we may go watch it together then.  After church, we stopped by Walmart and I saw the book to the movie.  Anyone who knows me, knows I HATE to read but, I got the book anyways and I am gonna try to read it.  I have always heard books are better than the movie.  I read one chapter than decided I wanted to blog really quick so put it down for a few but, the 1st chapter is intense in the book so it makes me curious how the movie will start and will it start so intense. 

Anywho, here is the movie trailer for any of those who have not seen it.  Courageous Movie Trailor (click the link Courageous Movie Trailer to see it.)

Hope everyone is doing well.

1 Week Count Down

YAH!!!  We are now officially 1 week out from our first appointment for our Ultrasound.  We absolutely can not believe it.  1 week from today we will go in for our ultrasound and hopefully everything will be ready to go and we can get our shot that day and then return Friday for the procedure.

As far as the medication, everything has been going well. 

Day 1 of medication: I was extremely sleep deprived.  I only had 3 hours of sleep from Sunday around 4pm to Monday night around 1am.  After taking the medicine, I got a slight headache and I got a hot flash that night.  I also had VERY SLIGHT dizziness and felt a little blah.  I did not want to take those symptoms to be the medication since I was so sleep deprived.  Normally, if I am sleep deprived, I feel sick anyways so I did not want to jump to conclusion that the medication had made me feel blah however, the Medication HAD to cause the hot flashes because anyone who knows me knows that if I am hot, there is something major wrong. 

Day 2:  Got a HORRIBLE headache after taking the medicine and hot flashes continued.

Day 3: NO HEADACHE!!! but, hot flashes did continue

Day 4: (today)  I take my medicine around 4-4:30 and so far, NO HEADACHE!!!  Had 1 hot flash earlier.  This morning going home from work though, I did get a little dizzy again and felt a little nauseous.  Again, don't know if this was from the medicine or because I was sleepy.

Day 5 is tomorrow so we will see how that goes but it seems like the worst of my symptoms so far are just hot flashes.  If that is the worst of it, I can take that any day.  I have talked to someone before though that said they did not have any symptoms until a week or so after coming off the medication and that is when it made her very emotional and had mood swings.  So far, so good so hopefully it won't kick in later. 

Thank God, I am not moody and emotional, Trent hasn't kicked me out of the house yet or went running for help yet so that's a good thing.

Well, most likely won't post again until after Thursday.  Wish us luck that everything goes well Thursday and Friday will be the BIG day.  Even if Friday ain't the big day, we are still not far at all out.  CAN'T WAIT TILL THURSDAY!!!

Hebrews 11:1 - Next Steps

Hebrews 11:1  Faith is the assurance of things hoped for but not yet seen.  As we get closer and closer to procedure, we have to keep up our faith that it will work. 

I talked to the doctors office today to let them know that CD 1 was on Saturday and they called in my medicine and I will officially start it today. 

Clomid 50mg. 5 pills CD's 3-7. Notice it says may result in Multiple
Pregnancy (twins, etc) :)

They only prescribed me 50mg therefore I am hoping I don't have horrible side effects from it.  I have heard of people being put on 100mg and 150mg so it seems they are starting me at small doses.  I imagine this is being done because we have not found any fertility problems with me therefore I am ONLY taking this medication to try to induce egg production.  I imagine the higher doses are for the people who don't ovulate at all therefore the higher doses make them ovulate to where we have not found that problem with me.  I imagine the higher doses would also be for those who have several failed IUI's.  SIDE EFFECTS: hot flashes, nausea, vomiting, breast tenderness, dizziness, lightheadedness, headache, or mood changes.  SEVERE SIDE EFFECTS:  Stomach or pelvic pain, bloating, or blurred vision.

Trent showing how he feels about me starting medication.

My reaction to getting ready to start medication. 

 I just love us.

Just look at that Pretty face.  He is momma's boy.
Hmm wonder what he is gonna think about a baby?

My cycles normally range from 27- 33 days therefore they said it is a little difficult to tell what day to do my ultrasound for.  We ended up scheduling the first ultrasound appointment for CD 13 which is September 29th.  On that day, we will do the ultrasound to check the size of follicles on my ovaries to see if they are ready for ovulation.  If they are, we will then do the HSG trigger shot to stimulate the ovaries to release the eggs.  The next day, we will then go back in for the IUI.  If my follicles are NOT ready for ovulation, since my cycle days range, we will then do repeat ultrasounds on multiple days until we see that the follicles are ready for ovulation.  Again, after they are ready, we will do the HSG trigger shot and the next day return for IUI.  Hopefully my follicles will be ready on the first Ultrasound day that way we are not having to return to Nashville numerous days just for ultrasounds. 

A couple of people have asked how the ultrasound can tell if you are ready for ovulation so I will briefly explain it so that maybe you can better understand it.  Honestly, I didn't know how it all worked until I had an ultrasound done for this previously when our whole journey first started.  When it is time for ovulation, you get follicles on your ovaries.  The follicles hold the egg.  To produce good eggs for ovulation, they try to see that the follicles are of a certain size.  If the follicles are small, that means that it is not time for ovulation quiet yet and as they get bigger, you can tell that it is about time for the egg to be released from the follice.  Therefore when they do the ultrasound for IUI, they know once the egg gets a certain size, that is when you do the HSG trigger shot to release the egg and then that next day or 2 is going to be the most fertile days since the egg has just been released.  Hope this all makes a little bit of since to everyone. 

They also prescribed me Ovidrel Injection (HSG trigger shot).  I thought this was something that they would just keep in their office and give to the patients that need it but apparently, they prescribe it to the patient and we take it in on days of ultrasounds just in case that is the day we need it.  This shot scares me.  I have heard the needles are HUGE.  I HATE needles. EEK!!!  My pharmacy doesn't keep this in stock so they had to order it and it will be in tomorrow.  Thank GOD, it is only one injection of it that we have to take because it is $80 something just for one.  Hopefully will will get pregnant the first time around since this shot itself is almost $100 and will have to be done with each time we do the procedure.  Anywho, it ALSO says that It could result in a multiple pregnancy such as twins or triplets.  I have heard that twins come from the females side but it is our generation on EVERY side of the family including Trent's.  There are twins on both my mom and dads sides AND twins on both Trent's mom and dad's side.  AND BOTH of the medications I am on could cause multiple(s).  Sounds to me like we are bound to have twins.  lol.  :)

Anywho, since I updated everyone the other day, I figured I would continue to keep everyone updated on our upcoming procedure.  WOW, We can't believe we will be going to the Doctor in only 10 days which means if my follicles are the size they should be that day, we will be doing IUI in ONLY 11 days!!!

Keep us in your Prayers, we're so close to achieving parenthood it just honestly almost doesn't feel real.

Blog makeover

I just see all these peoples blogs with their picture or something cute at the top and I always wanted mine like that. Well, Obviously I was too stupid to figure out that you just post the picture in the header section so Thank You Jill for teaching me how to do it. lol.  My picture is too big up there but I LOVE it so for now, I will keep it.  One night I was playing around on photoshop and created it and just fell in love with it as this was my absolute favorite picture from our wedding night and I just love the saying on it because I absolutely fall in love with my hubby over and over again.  I am so very blessed and grateful to God for blessing me with such an amazing man that is my absolute best friend in this whole world.  I knew in marriage your spouse should be your best friend, but I never knew you could possibly be this close to one individual.  I never in a million years imagined getting married and having such a WONDERFUL marriage.  I have said it time and time again but marriage is just so EASY for us.  Of course every little girl grows up dreaming of marriage but who ever dreamed it would be so easy.  Anywho, everyone knows how I already feel about my hubby so I will quit rambling. 

This was the first photoshop creation I made looking like this and fell in love with it and so then I decided to make one for my mommy, sissy, and hubby also.  My daddy is such a very special man to me.  Sometimes when I feel like I don't even believe in myself, my daddy will always believe in me and know that I can do bigger and better and make things happen.  I love you My Daddy!!!  In this picture, my daddy is looking at a baby picture of me.

Me and my mommy have such a special bond.  I can honestly say that I can tell my mommy ANYTHING and always have.  I just love my mommy dearly and without her through the past year, I would most likely be a crazy person.  My mommy (along with my hubby and sissy) have been my rock through our journey.  My mommy is my best friend.

My sissy!!!  Oh where do I start?  We hated each other growing up.  Fought like absolute cats and dogs.  She chased me with knives and I beat her in her sleep with a hair brush and a lead pipe.  Yes, I was horrible, but, in my kid mind, that was the only way I could get back at her was when she was asleep.  Yes, in saying all that, we are sisters by birth but more importantly, best friends by choice.  Who ever knew we could be so close after hating each other so bad.  Sissy, I love you so very much!!!

I just love my family dearly, and am so blessed that God gave me such a wonderful tight knit family. 

I haven't gotten around to doing pictures of Trent's family yet but I do plan on it.  I absolutely can not go with out mentioning my in laws.  I am also so very blessed with the additional family God gave me.  Trent's family is amazing and also just as tight knit as my family.  I could not imagine where I would be in life and what my future would hold without them.  Thank You for loving me as if I were your very own and always being there for us.  I love you all dearly!!!

All in all, WE ARE BLESSED!!!

All We want for Christmas is..........

TO BE PREGNANT WITH OUR LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY(S) and hopefully about 2 1/2 months pregnant at that. Honestly, seriously, that is all we want.

 

 

Wow, oh wow. We absolutely can not believe how far we have came in our journey. So to update everyone with whats going on.

 

 

We were not going to tell everyone when we got ready to start procedures because we don't want a slew of people asking us "Did it work?" "Are you pregnant?" and all kinds of other questions but we have had so many people praying for us that it's a little unfair to not keep ya filled in huh? Well, I will kinda sum up the procedure for ya and kinda give ya a hint on when we think we may be starting procedures however, it still stands true that we don't want people harassing us if it worked or not. I am sure, we will tell people in our time if it did or didn't work when we are ready BUT we don't want a million people bombarding us about it all at once. As much as we hope and Pray that it does happen the first time, we don't expect this to happen and I think it is only normal that we will be sad and hurt if it doesn't work hence the reason we don't want to be bombarded. We are staying positive and have Faith in God that it will work however, the success rate in each cycle is only 20%-25% therefore we also have to face reality. We don't want to say IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN because we don't want to be let down even more if it doesn't. Again, we have faith and truly believe it will but also have to face reality at times also. A little something though to give us hope that it will atleast happen at some point is, Trent talked to someone the other night that done the same procedure we are doing with the same doctor we are using and luckily for her, it worked the first time. Not only that, but I have heard of others that used the same facility we are going to and it has worked for them. We know it can and will work, but it is just so encouraging to hear the success stories.

Now, on to the process..........Everyone will be excited to know..........

WE WILL BE STARTING WITH THIS MONTH'S CYCLE!!! (sorry to those guys that may be reading this or anyone else who didn't care to hear the details) Geez its crazy to say that almost 2 1/2 years ago when we first started trying that I was so upset and so bummed every month when my cycle came around and now, we are SO anxious for it to start that I don't think it ever will. LOL! (sorry again guys)

Ok, now, that I have had to apologize twice, I guess I should say, if you don't want to hear about my cycle days, you may not want to read any further however, the further details will have information about how procedure will work on certain cycle days.

So, I am due for dear ol' mother nature to come and visit me any day now which will be

Cycle Day 1 (CD = Cycle Day from here on out). YAH, YAH, YAH!!! (Geez, will it ever happen, LOL)

CD 3= I will be put on Clomid = fertility meds to help induce egg production which could also make me form more than 1 egg. We are very nervous about the side effects of this medication as we have heard the side effects are not fun and could make me crazy, emotional, nauseous, etc. Ugh, dreading this BUT will TOTALLY be worth it in the end.

CD 13 or 14= I will go to Dr. Hill and have an ultra sound to make sure my egg follicles are a certain size. If they are at the size the doctors would like to see them at during ovulation, they will then give me an HCG shot to stimulate the ovaries which then will cause it to release the

egg(s).

1 to 2 days later - (they said it is normally 1 day but possibly 2 days later.) We will actually go in for IUI (IntraUterine Insemination=Artificial Insemination)

Approx 2 weeks later, we will take a test and hopefully be pregnant with our little Miracle(s) therefore in a little over a month, we could possibly find out that we are finally pregnant with our little miracle(s) that we have worked so hard for over the past year.

So is everyone wondering why I am putting Joy(s) and Miracle(s) well we always said we wanted 2 and no more than 3 kids so at this point, we are hoping that we have twins so that we can have what we always wanted. If not, we will gladly take whatever God wants to bless us with at this point. If this works and especially if this works rather quickly with not many tries, we will have decisions to make as in trying again in the future or not however, at this point, we are just focused on the right here right now and what happens now because it may not even be a decision that we have to make later on depending on what happens now.

Anyways, it has been forever since anyone had been updated due to us not knowing if we would be sharing with everyone when we would start procedures or not so now that I have updated everyone, Please keep us in your prayers this month and in the next couple of months following as we will hopefully be pregnant in the following months but if we are not, we will be redoing this whole cycle that I just went through a couple more times as needed to hopefully make it work. At this point, it appears we will get at least 3 tries and hopefully we will get more tries than that if needed depending on how everything goes.

Anywho, hope everyone else is doing well and hopefully, we can soon give everyone some GREAT news.