Trent's Infertility Q&A

What is the most hurtful thing someone has said to you through infertility?  There are two comments that stick out in mind.  One was not long after I found out about my problem, someone stated, "to bad you didn't know you shot blanks until now, because you could have had sex with alot of women when you were younger and not worry about knocking them up."  The second was my wife and I was in the check out line at Wal-Mart and something was said about children.  The woman at the cash register said she had three kids and that was three to many.  Really, if you don't want kids then don't spread your legs.  

What has been the most painful part of infertility?  The most painful is knowing as a male that I can't get my wife pregnant and having to see my wife cry her eyes out or cry herself to sleep, because we want something so bad and their is nothing I can do about. 

What is it like from a spouses stand point to have an infertile wife/spouse?  I feel helpless, because the main problem is me and it breaks my heart to see my wife have to be put on all different types of fertility medicine and the tole that it's doing to her body and her emotions.   

Will you ever regret trying IUI so many times?  yes it hurts my wallet, but no I will never regret doing IUI as many times as we have, because we want to do whatever it takes to have a child.

What do you think about your wife blogging about y'alls personal life?  I think it's great that my wife blogs about what we are going through.  I think it's a way for her to express her feelings and to get things off of her chest.  Plus by her blogging, people can look at the blog and read about what we are going through instead of having to repeat the story's over and over to people and getting more discouraged every time you tell the story.

Are you ashamed of your infertility?  I am somewhat ashamed of my problem, because it hurts my pride, but it's just something I have to deal with and move on.  There is no sense in dwelling on something that I have no control over.

What are you looking forward to the most about becoming a father?  Duh, everything!  If I had to put one thing the most though, it would have to be holding that little bundle of joy and singing him or her to sleep. 

What do you think y'alls 4 legged child will do when y'all have a child?  At first, I think our dog will be jealous, but as time goes by, I think the dog would be protective of the baby.

What is the hardest part about this journey? The hardest part is the up and down roller coaster of emotions that we are put through each time we do an IUI.  We wonder how many vials will they have to unthaw for us to have good numbers. We wonder if this is it, this is the time the procedures going to work, but of course we wont know for another two weeks.  So for those two weeks, we are left waiting, wondering, and hoping.

Do you ever get tired of TTC (trying to conceive)?  It is a tiring process and there is times that I get frustrated and I want to just give up, but there is also something telling me that it's going to happen and that's what pushes me to keep going. 

Do you have any advice that could help my husband understand infertility better; were new to this and I know it's hard for him to understand, just curious if you have any helpful tidbits?  My advice would have to be to love one another and be their for one another, because it's not just that one person going through the problem, whether it be the husband or the wife, it's both of you,  for better or for worst.  If that doesn't help, then just think that their are other people in this world that are going through worse things than you are. 

What are your thoughts on adoption?  Adoption does scare me, because you never know what your going to get with adoption.  I mean it's like reaching your hand in a bag and pulling out something that you have no idea what it's going to be.  If we were ever faced with adoption, I think that I would go through with it because no matter what, me and my wife would raise that child by our morals.

Do we regret not going through with the previous adoption that fell into our laps?  At times I do regret not going through with the adoption that fell in our laps, because I look at pictures on facebook of the cute little boy and I think to myself that he could have been ours.  At the same time, it was just bad timing because I just found out about my problem.  Plus I want to experience the whole birthing process with my wife.

Are you scared of having multiples?  No!  I am not scared because it would be ideal for us, after all we have been through and all the IUI's we have done.  We would most likely be done and never have to try again. 

Did you ever envision your life childless? I hate to, but there have been times that I have.  There have been times that I think to myself, well if we never have a child then we can take vacations and travel to places that we have never been before.  But I don't want to think like that because I try to be positive and believe that we are going to have that little bundle of joy some day.