My Poor Poor Trentie!

God bless my sweet little hubby for having to deal with me.  These past 2 weeks have been so tough as I mentioned in the previous blog.  Trent is so strong and so positive even though he is very anxious.  Me on the other hand, I try to be strong but I am feeling more and more weak and like a crazy person and bless his heart for having to listen to me whining.  I don't like to whine to him though cause I don't want to drag him down with me when he still has such a positive outlook.  I will say, I am proud of myself because I have only cried 2 or 3 times during the past 2 weeks over it however it wasn't real cry, just a few tears fell and then I was done.  Well, tonight, all I can say is bless his heart.  While at work, I had started feeling like it was about that time of the month for me.  I am not really crampy however, I just kinda feel like it is coming on.  I had already started getting a little emotional over it and a few tears fell.  After that, I had talked to him on the phone and he started saying something and SNAP.  Yep, that is what I done completely out of no where and FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.  I IMMEDIATELY realized what I had done and burst out into a big ball of tears because I had felt so horrible and so guilty for snapping on him for no good reason like that out of no where.  Well obviously when I had busted out in tears the way I did, he wondered what was wrong and I had to apologize 100 times because I felt so guilty and then I had explained what was wrong.  Bless his heart.  Poor poor thing for having to put up with me.
Anyways, in all of that being said, I am going crazier and crazier by the day as we are quickly approaching the day for us to test.  We honestly thought that our 2WW would drag by however, it has honestly flown by.  I pray that my feelings earlier were just simply feelings.  I can not imagine us having to go back through all of this again.  I am so emotional right now and I am so done with it all.  Thank God I have Trent to keep me going cause earlier I was honestly feeling on the brink of giving up.  I know that we can not give up and Trent WILL NOT let that happen but this is all just so very difficult. 

I am so ready for Thursday to hurry up and come and go and for whatever is going to happen to happen so that we can just move on and plan for our next step whether that be going through pregnancy with our bundle of joy or go back through another round of this IUI which might totally drive me to the Insane Asylum.  And if we have to go through another round of IUI, you all better be praying heavily for Trent. lol.