What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I have been debating if I should post this or not.  I typed it up a week or so ago just haven't posted it because I wasn't sure if I should.  As this was just brought up today, I am feeling the need now more than ever to post it. 

PLEASE READ THE FULL BLOG AS IT WILL PROBABLY GIVE MOST AN INSIGHT ON OUR JOURNEY THAT MANY PROBABLY DID NOT KNOW ABOUT.

"What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?"

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice".  We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," or "things happen for a reason", of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children."  The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.

"These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live."  However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life.  It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment.  What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die."  What if he'd never tried to find a cure?  Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?

"What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?"

"I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper.  I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down.  I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols.  I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility."

"No, God never meant for me not to have children.  That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on.  I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it.  Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.

"Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment.  I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known."
"While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me.  Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own.  And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility.  I already know."

That was something that I found on an infertility board.  Now on to what I have to say about all of this,  "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," NO, THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN WITH US!!!  With our situation, it is LITERALLY, physically IMPOSSIBLE that this happen unless God works one heck of a miraculous miracle.  "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." I will NEVER believe this because we WILL have a child even if it means through adoption.  Let me sum it all up for those of you who may not have been reading the blog a little over a year ago when I first started talking about our situation.  Trent was born with a congenital absence of the Vas.  For any of those who do not know what that is, the Vas is the tube that carries sperm outside the body.  Without a Vas, there is ZERO sperm.

HEADS UP: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER CAME OUT AND SAID IT ON THE BLOG SO MANY OF YOU ARE MOST LIKELY NOT AWARE OF WHAT I AM FIXING TO SAY!!!  It is only by the Grace of God and a HUGE THANK YOU to a VERY SPECIAL and VERY SELFLESS person who is our SPERM DONOR and has made all of this possible for me and my wonderful hubby.  Our baby will be one VERY Special little miracle blessing in our lives and our families lives which we absolutely CAN NOT wait to welcome into this world.

So now, as those of you who didn't know, now know, our situation is VERY SPECIAL and has been very tough.  Now knowing our situation, you may understand a little more why I have always said I think there is different types of infertility and infertility on different levels.  Again, that doesn't make it any easier or less emotional for the different types of infertility but definitely puts a different spin on things to where many will never truly understand our situation.

Ok, on a HAPPY note now, we found out the other day that our insurance actually paid something at the fertility center therefore we have a $220 credit that will be applied towards this next procedure and that also means that we will save $220 this go around also for a total of $440 savings.
OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!!!  We were so very grateful for this saving as this journey has been a very pricey journey.  Our child won't be worth a nickel, it will be worth THOUSANDS!!! 

Again, I say a HUGE Thank You to all the family and friends who have been so very supportive to us through this whole journey.  WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!