Anyways, I figured I would share with everyone our infertility story letter that we wrote for the grant. It is edited for privacy.
Trent and I have been together for almost 10 years now. We started dating on January 20th, 2003; we got engaged January 20th, 2007, and we got married May 3rd, 2008. During our whole relationship before getting married, we always knew we wanted children. We have always said we wanted two and no more than three, and we also knew we would want to start trying to get pregnant about a year after getting married. We did exactly what we had planned and in May 2009, we started trying to get pregnant. Month after month went by with no pregnancy. After several months of trying, we began getting discouraged and never understood why we couldn’t get pregnant. In June 2010 we consulted with my gynecologist to see what needed to be done to see why we were not yet pregnant within a year of trying. At that point, he then scheduled a post coital test for July. We did the post coital test and everything was basically normal. He did inform us that he didn’t see any sperm however the post coital test was not a good test to test for sperm. After that appointment, he then scheduled me for a HSG in August and told Trent in the meantime, he needed to be seen by another doctor to see if there was anything on his end preventing us from becoming pregnant. It just so happened that both mine and Trent’s test fell on the same day. Trent’s appointment came first and as the doctor was doing his physical exam on him, we could tell that the doctor wasn’t finding what he was looking for. At that point, Trent and I immediately got concerned. They then asked Trent to do a semen analysis. After they did the test on the semen analysis, that is the point in which our whole lives would forever be changed. The results showed zero sperm. We wondered how in the world could there be not even one sperm? The doctor then told us that he believed Trent had a congenital absence of the vas and he wanted to do another test on him a couple weeks later that would be more in depth to test for fructose and also at that time would test to see if the sperm was possibly going back into the bladder. A couple of weeks later, we got the same results. Zero sperm, low volume, and no fructose in the sperm sample. There was also no sperm in the urine which told us that the sperm was not going backwards into the bladder. This confirmed the congenital absence of the vas diagnosis. Backing up a couple of weeks to my HSG, everything looked great with it and the doctor said there should be nothing preventing me from getting pregnant. This was wonderful news to hear since we had just received the bad news on Trent but we at that point didn’t know that it would matter since we wouldn’t be able to get pregnant on our own. Due to Trent’s congenital absence of the vas, we were referred to Nashville Fertility Center to see Dr. George Hill. In September 2010, we had our first visit with Dr. Hill and at that point, we were given the option of basically being alone the rest of our lives, sperm donor, IVF or adoption.
Once given our options, we were really struggling with what decision to make. We have a wonderful marriage but we have never imagined our future without a child. To my surprise, when the doctor mentioned sperm donor, Trent wanted more information. He thought this was a good idea. We knew we could not afford IVF because if it failed, we didn’t feel like there was any way we would be able to afford adoption. We knew we wanted a child some way, some how. We took information home on sperm donor and looked into it slightly. About 2 weeks after our first visit with the fertility doctor, an adoption fell into our laps. This was the most difficult decisions we have had to make to date. Everything with our infertility was still so fresh, we were still grieving. How could we make the decision about adoption? After many prayers and conversations, we decided that at that time we were not ready to give up the thought of us carrying our child. It wasn’t much after that that (edit) someone called us and said someone had told him about our situation and he told us that he wanted to help us and be our sperm donor. We took a couple of months to pray about our options and finally in December of 2010, we had decided that we would pursue using (edit) donor as a known sperm donor. In December, (edit) donor was tested to make sure that everything looked good on his end. In January 2011, we got (edit) donors results back and found out that we were good to go and we could now start all of the process of making this happen. To be able to use known donor, we all three had to go to counseling and also have legalized lawyer papers drawn up, signed and notarized. In January, Trent and I saw our counselor and in March, (edit) donor saw his counselor. Also in March, (edit) donor started collecting his specimens to freeze. Finally in August, we saw the lawyer and got all of the legal paperwork done. Now all we had to do was wait on my next cycle to roll around and we would be able to start what we hoped and prayed would finally give us that sweet little blessing from above that we had prayed so long about. September’s cycle had finally rolled around and at this point, we had been trying to get pregnant for two years and four months. At the end of September 2011, we had our first IUI which failed. From then on through January 2012, we had an IUI every month. Once we saw that we were running low on vials, (edit) donor collected more vials for us in hopes that we would eventually become pregnant. After our failed cycle in January, we had been through 5 failed IUI’s and was at a stopping point. We didn’t have any more available vials because the vials he collected around were in quarantine for 3 months.
During the break that we were forced into because we did not have any ready vials, I took the opportunity to go to the doctor to see about some discomfort that I had been having in my right ovary area. Back when we first started all of this infertility stuff, everything had checked out fine with me. Neither my regular gynecologist nor the fertility specialist thought I had endometriosis or anything like that however, Dr. Hill had said that the only thing left to do with me was to do a laparoscopy to make sure everything looked fine. I had turned that down due to not having any symptoms of endometriosis and didn’t want to waste the money on something no one felt like I had. Fast forward to the 3rd failed IUI, Dr. Hill said that at that point it may be beneficial to do the laparoscopy just to make sure nothing more was going on however, he still really didn’t feel like I had anything going on. I turned down the laparoscopy yet again. Fast forward even more, once I had started complaining of the right ovary area discomfort, Dr. Hill then said he really thought the laparoscopy needed to be done and I finally agreed because I was tired of the discomfort I had been having off and on for about a year. In July 2012, I was scheduled for a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy. While in surgery, Dr. Hill also done a D&C which was unexpected. After the surgery, we then found out that I did have three very mild spots of endometriosis, a fibroid and several polyps. All of this was removed during the surgery and I was told that everything else now looked great in my pelvic area. My fallopian tubes were open and not blocked and my ovaries looked great. Due to all of the things being removed during surgery being factors of infertility, Dr. Hill really thought our chances on getting pregnant were increased and he recommended starting back with the IUI’s as soon as possible. In September 2012, we did IUI #6 and in October 2012, we did IUI #7.
We have now been trying to get pregnant for three and a half years, and we have been through seven failed IUI’s, and to date have spent $15,300. Through the seven failed IUI’s, I have taken three rounds of Clomid 50mg, one round of Clomid 100mg and three rounds of Femara 5mg. At this point, Dr. Hill is really trying to push us towards IVF however, we know we can’t afford this due to the amount we have already spent and knowing we wouldn’t be able to adopt in the future if we spent the money that it would cost for IVF. Up to this point, we have never asked anyone for help but we are now to a point that we honestly don’t know if we will ever be parents because we don’t know how much more we can really afford. We never in a million years thought that it would have taken us this long to get pregnant therefore, we never thought it would have been this expensive. We started with 11 vials and are now down to 2 vials. Due to having only two vials left, this means that we only have one or two more IUI tries left. As we get close to the end of our vials, we wonder more and more if we will ever be parents. It absolutely terrifies us that we may never have a child. Since we have already spent so much money on everything we have been through, we truly question if we will even be able to afford adoption. I am very vocal and passionate about our story with infertility and due to this, we have a blog that we keep everyone informed through at www.haddocks050308.blogspot.com. One of my neighbors is very faithful with keeping up with our blog and had called us the other night to inform us that she had ran across a nonprofit organization called Baby Quest Foundation. When she told us about you, we immediately looked up your foundation. As we have prayed and prayed and cried out to God, we realized that it was definitely worth the try to turn in an application and see what happens knowing that financially, we couldn’t take much more on our own.
Through our almost 10 year relationship, we have faced many trials and as we dated, we had a long distance relationship for four years. Through that long distance relationship, we have said that we feel like God was trying to prepare us for the greatest trial of our lives which is infertility. We had always said if we could make things work through the long distance relationship, we could make it through anything. Infertility is absolutely 110% the most difficult thing we have ever faced in life. We never knew something could hurt so excruciatingly. We never in a million years thought we would have to struggle through infertility. That is something we never even thought about as we never knew either one of us had a problem, and now, we, as a couple, suffer with male and female factor infertility. Even though mine is now gone, it is something that has forever changed who we are. As we realize the potential to never be parents, it crushes us into millions of pieces. We will try with everything within us to adopt if we are never able to become pregnant however, I would love nothing more in this world than to be able to allow Trent to experience everything there is about pregnancy. We chose to use known donor sperm in the beginning instead of adoption because Trent has such a strong desire to be able to be a part of absolutely everything with pregnancy. Every doctors appointment, every ultrasound, the first heartbeat, birth and delivery; everything. Up to date, he has only missed 2 of our doctors appointments dealing with infertility. He is very committed to our journey. Back in April 2012, I had the amazing privilege of being able to witness my beautiful niece being born into this world and at that moment, it broke my heart into a million pieces. I realized there are absolutely no words to ever explain what it’s like to watch such a blessing from God being born into this world, and I absolutely could not imagine what it would be like to witness your own child being born into this world. I want nothing more than to make all of Trent’s dreams come true. It absolutely amazes me to see him with children and babies. He lights up anytime a child is around and it seems to be a mutual thing as all kids seem to adore him. He is a police officer and he loves doing things geared towards children. Just a couple of examples include him keeping stuffed animals in his patrol car trunk and handing them out to children, and riding around in his patrol car at Halloween handing out candy. There is one picture we have that speaks a million words to me. You can’t really tell unless the picture is zoomed in but when he first met our niece, he sat and cried as he held her. All I could do was hold him as I knew how bad he hurt. We can not wait until the day that we find out that we are going to be parents. I have always been told my whole life I would make a great mother, and I have always wanted children, but at this point, I want it for my husband more than anything because I have never witnessed a man admire children as much as I see my husband’s love and desire for them.
In ending this, I apologize because I don’t know how long and detailed you want this to be. Again, I am very vocal and passionate about infertility and our experiences. If we got chosen for this grant, words would never be able to express the gratitude that we have for you. We are honest to God blessed with the picture perfect marriage and feel we have so much love that we could share with a child, and we just question how and why God could not allow us to be parents. Baby Quest Foundation, other than our unborn child could possibly be the greatest blessing of our marriage. Even if we are not chosen, we would like to Thank You for reaching out and helping others who struggle daily with infertility as any of us who have struggled know the pain and heartache that comes along with infertility which is somewhat factored by finances when some can’t afford to push on any further. We want to Thank You from the bottom of our hearts for allowing us to submit to you our application and letter for review.
They also said that pictures were optional so we of course have plenty of pictures so we sent several in.
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| This is just a picture we really like |
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| This is the picture mentioned in the letter. |
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| Trent holding Kellen at only 9 days old |
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| Another picture that we just like of the 2 of us |
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| After IUI #1 |
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| Waiting in the waiting room to be called back for IUI #6 |
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| A picture I created from one of our favorite wedding pictures |
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| One of our Engagement pictures |
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| Us with Kellen when she was just a month old |
1 comment:
I am so excited you were able to get your application to them in time!! Now they need to get on the ball and pick it up and approve it! :)
Good luck!
(Susan from Resolve)
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