I am going to make this quick as it is late and past my bedtime. Tonight I went to my first infertility support group and I don't regret it at all. Anyone who knows me knows that I am pretty shy and quiet until I really get to know you. Because of this, I didn't know how much I would really enjoy the support group. I had convinced myself that unless I open up, it wouldn't benefit me at all. I was actually pretty talkative and I am proud of myself for that. I am happy to say that my plans are to return next month and Trent said he may even go with me one time if he is ever off work on the day that it falls on. It was so good to be surrounded by others who understand you and what you are going through and also help you to realize everything you are going through is perfectly normal. I am not going to lie and this is the first time I have EVER came out and been so blunt on my blog about this but I find it difficult to be happy for others who are pregnant. I deal daily with guilt for this however, tonight made me realize I am not alone in this feeling. As I have said before, no one will ever understand that until they first hand experience infertility. It also felt good to be able to open up about things that bother me and others could relate to and be in just as much shock as me when it comes to some things that is said to infertiles. I can honestly say that I felt so comfortable and at peace there. I am so happy I made the decision to go.
The last thing I wanted to mention some have probably already seen on facebook but our neighbor called us on Saturday and said she had found a non profit infertility grant through Baby Quest Foundation out of California. Unfortunately the deadline to turn in the application for this grant is on November 15th. After me and Trent talking about it, we decided we would kick our butts into gear and get everything done that needed to be done to apply. I have the application and my letter complete now all we have to wait on is the letter from the doctor and they said pictures was optional so I am going to find a couple of pictures to print and send in with the application. If we were to win this grant, we would potentially have InVitro paid for which would tickle us to death because we know we CAN NOT afford this on our own. Again I say maybe God is looking over us and allowing everything to happen just right. Maybe this cycle got cancelled so we could save our last 2 vials for InVitro. Who knows? I guess we will find out sometime close to the beginning of December. The deadline for the application is November 15th and they said they usually announce who won the grant approx 2 weeks after the application deadline. We pray that God will bless us with the finances to continue on this journey we are on and bless us with that sweet miracle we have prayed so long about.
I guess this is all for now but will update everyone later when we have any new news about anything. Thank you so very much to all for the prayers, love, support and encouragement you have given us lately through all of the hectic ness we have been through and with our possible new journey of InVitro. We really pray that God blesses us with that Grant so we can continue to try to accomplish our goals and dreams of parenthood.
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