IUI #4 - WARNING VERY DETAILED

Hubby says this blog is very detailed.  I guess that being said, if you don't want to hear very specific details of how the procedure works, don't read any further than the first paragraph.  If your not going to read any further, I will just give a short version and say this procedure went well.  We had more sperm than ever before, the egg follicle was bigger than before, and we had something encouraging to happen.  We will test January 11th and hopefully give Trent the best birthday present ever.  There, that is the shortened version.  Please feel free to continue reading if you don't care to hear specific details.

Welp, IUI #4 is now done and over.  This procedure went exceptionally well.  On the new med, I still only had 1 good egg follicle however it was a good one at 24.5mm.  I think that is the biggest follicle we have had so far.  Anyways, for the IUI, we had another new nurse and she was actually a nurse practitioner.  Her name was Martha.  She done things a little differently than anyone else ever has before.  Before actually inserting the catheter in, she cleaned the cervix and after the procedure when she was actually pulling the catheter out, she explained something a little differently then also.  With this IUI, we also had more sperm than we have ever had before also.  We were shocked with this because with IUI #3, we had specifically asked for a specific vial to be used because we knew it was going to be our best vial.  Well, this time, we also asked to use a specific vial because we want to use the ones with the best numbers and leave the worst for last.  As I have said before, when the vial is thawed, it can kill off half, if not more than half of the motile sperm however this time, it did not kill anywhere near half.  Actually compared to the paperwork that we have when the vial was actually froze, it only killed 0.8million.  Anyways, this time we ended up with 12.6 million motile sperm.  We were tickled to death with this because yet again, this meant that we only had to use 1 vial.  We really thought we would end up having to use 2 vials this time.  This time, the progressive motile sperm percentage was also higher than it had ever been before.  There is also one more thing that Martha said that defiantly gave us some encouragement but I will post that under a TMI section in case someone doesn't want to hear about a gross aspect of female ovulation.  After the procedure, I have to lay with my knees up and my hips tilted for 15 minutes.  After EVERY procedure, Trent has increased the time on the timer so that we actually end up sitting for about 25 minutes.  He just cracks me up.

Our donor has actually collected more vials for us and we still have atleast 4 vials left.  We are still waiting to find out how many vials were collected from another day so really we actually have 5-6 vials.  We had asked Martha about using 2 vials for each procedure from here on out since the doctor is only giving us 3 more tries until he moves on to IVF which we will not do because of expenses.  Martha explained that at that point he would recommend moving to IVF however if we just said no absolutely not, we wanted to continue with IUI that she really thought he would agree to continue with IUI instead of giving up on us.  That being said, we pray we don't need the 3 or more tries but we atleast have extra vials now if needed.  If we do end up pregnant this time, this also gives us extra vials for a possible 2nd child in the future. 

We will be testing on January 11th just a few days after Trent's birthday so hopefully Trent will have a wonderful birthday present. 

WARNING: A LITTLE TMI TO COME SO IF YA DON'T WANT TO HEAR, SCROLL ON DOWN TO PICTURES.

Since Martha done things a little differently, when she cleaned the cervix before entering the catheter, she had said that there was actually some very good stretchy cervical mucous that she had cleaned away.  She said as she was cleaning it away, it was actually coming out of the cervix at that point and time.  Sperm can not live nor swim with out good cervical mucous so this made us feel VERY good to know that there was good cervical mucous there at that specific time.  Chances are that there has always been good cervical mucous before however, no one has ever cleaned the cervix before and no one has ever mentioned the cervical mucous before.  And maybe there was good before however maybe it wasn't just at the perfect timing as procedure.  None the less, this defiantly made us very hopeful and it was very encouraging. 

Right after IUI #4

Trent always adds more time to the timer

New Sewing Project

So, I wanted to attempt making a quilt so I went to Hobby Lobby to look for material to make one for my mom.  While there, I found the cutest pregnancy material pack that I just had to have.  I figured I would make it for my sister unless I end up pregnant before it is finished which is unlikely because I just started it yesterday and I'm moving right along on it.

What I have done of it so far.

1 material has pregnancy sayings on it (ex Having a baby, Baby Love,
Kicking my Bladder, I can't wait to meet this sweet little one)
.  1 has the different trimesters on it with pictures and sayings (I can't see my feet,
I'm big as a house, Hot momma, Packing for the hospital)
1 has pregnancy cravings on it. (pickles, Ice cream)
1 has cute baby stuff (Love Bug, Cutie Pie, Sweet Pea)
1 just has pink hearts and dots

 While I was trying to take pictures of what I have done, Bullet jumped up there and WOULD NOT move.  He refused to get down and when I tried to get the quilt, he started barking at me.  I think he thinks it is his new blanket.

Bullet Posing with the quilt.

Such a pretty boy.  I just love my sweet little Bullet boy.

Just wanted to show off my newest craftiness.

Making some Changes!

So today we consulted with Dr. Hill and we got the exact news we had hoped for.  We were a little anxious wondering what he would have to say.  We thought it would be 1 of 2 things.  1)  Either change medication or 2) Tell us we were done with IUI and we had to move to IVF.  We really felt like it would most likely be a med change but we feared them telling us it was time for IVF. 

Well, it was good news because he just wanted to change my medication.  I was taking Clomid 50mg but now, I will be taking Femara 2.5mg 2 tablets once a day so I will actually be on Femara 5mg.  He said that with Clomid, there was a 90% chance that it would happen within 3 IUI's.  If it didn't happen by then, it was time to change meds so that is what we are doing.  Normally you would take fertility meds on CD 3-7 however today was CD 4 and they would not fill any medications until we consulted with the doctor so, doctor wants me to take the Femara CD 4-8 and we will just do our Follicular ultrasound 1 day later than normal.  Our Ultrasound is set up for the 30th and if everything looks good that day, we will have our 4th IUI on the 31st. 

The doctor said that some people do better on Clomid and some do better on Femara but there is no way to tell who will do better on what med.  From what very little I have looked up on Femara, it sounds hopeful.  It sounds like several people who is unsuccessful on Clomid has success on Femara.  We can only pray that we are one of those who do better with Femara.  It seems like it is a second option for most doctors as it is actually a medication to treat Breast Cancer however it is also used as a fertility drug.  I done so well with no moody crazy side effects on Clomid that it scares me to go to a new med.  I just pray that Femara doesn't cause me to be crazy and moody. 

Dr. Hill also said that he would give us 3 failed IUI cycles on Femara before we had to move to IVF.  At that point, if it has not happened by then, I am most certain we would just go straight to adoption.  Hopefully though we aren't gonna have to worry about all of that.  He did say though that at any point if we were ready to move on to IVF that he would defiantly not be opposed to it.  We told him with the expenses of IVF that we would most likely not move to that so we wanted to do IUI as many times as we possibly could before giving up.

Before the doctor came in the room, me and Trent was really picking on one another and laughing and while we were getting a good laugh, the doctor walked in.  It really made me think.  I am sure the doctor sees all kinds of people come in all depressed, sad and upset.  It was probably good for him to come in and see someone laughing, cutting up and having a good time.  Again, this just goes to show just how blessed we are to have such a wonderful marriage where we know we can always rely upon one another for complete happiness. 

We want to be pregnant and experience pregnancy so badly.  Today I was thinking about all the women out there that have adopted and never gotten to experience pregnancy.  I thought about the hopeful day that we find out that we are pregnant and then my heart broke for those who have never gotten to experience it.  I pray that one day we get to experience pregnancy however when that day comes, I will know that I am more blessed than some out there that have never gotten to experience it.  I know to those adoptive parents that those kids are their live and they wouldn't trade it for the world but I also know when you experience infertility just how very badly you want to experience every single part of having a child. 

Well, I reckon that is enough rambling for now but just wanted to update everyone on our journey and where we are now.

WE HOPE EVERYONE HAS A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Thoughts :(

So as I was typing the blog earlier is when I had actually got the call from the doctors office and they informed me the doctor would not refill any medications until we re consult with them.  Since then, I have had just a little time to think about it but it is so very difficult to think about.  So here are some thoughts about it all.

***  Am I ready to give up?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  Of course the first day of us finding out we got a negative again, I was almost ready to give up and so frustrated not understanding why it just hasn't happened for us yet.  I had said if it were not for Trent, I would have been on the brink of giving up however every since the day after we tested, I am back in it at full force.  I am so ready to get another month started up and ready to accomplish all of our dreams.  It is killing me not knowing what to expect on Tuesday and not knowing what they are going to suggest.  Again, I am almost afraid they are going to recommend moving on to IVF (InVitro) and if that is the case, we don't know what we will do.  Will we give up with having our own child and move to adoption? (Most likely)  Or will we continue to pursue having our own child?  If we go IVF, will we continue using donor sperm so it will be cheaper or will we go ahead and shell out the extra thousands and try with Trent's sperm.  If we had a guarantee that IUI would work, we would do it no questions asked.  We would have done Trent no questions asked in the very beginning no matter the cost IF it had been a guarantee.  All I can say is I am not ready at all to quit the journey we have embarked upon.  I am not ready to look into other options.  We chose this option for a reason and I want to make it all happen.  Hopefully Tuesday will only be about a change in medication and they will put me on something stronger or more successful.  We can only hope.

***  I 110% feel like the route we have taken was absolutely meant for us to take.  I said this because I don't want my next comment to get taken the wrong way.  But, in the beginning, I really felt like adoption was what God was trying to lead us to.  I could have just felt that way since we had an adoption to fall into our laps (which we obviously turned down) but with having 3 unsuccessful IUI's, it makes me wonder if adoption isn't where we need to be.  I know there is some child out there that needs a wonderful mommy and daddy such as me and Trent and we would be nothing but proud and honored to give that child a life it could have never had.  Again, don't get me wrong.  I am not ready to move on to adoption.  I want to continue on the route we are taking but, if the doctors give us certain options, it will really make me wonder if that wasn't God's plan for us all along.  If we do end up adopting, do I OR will I regret what we have been through with IUI's?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  God obviously led us the route he did for a reason and he has a very special plan for us.  I am so Thankful me and Trent have gotten to experience the things we have experienced that are so very special to us in our own ways.  Many people will never understand just how special those days of IUI's were to us.  Even though the IUI's failed, those days will always be special as we knew we were trying to achieve something so very special.

***  I am really starting to feel numb to the failed IUI's and not having a child.  With IUI #1, we cried and expressed it and it was very difficult but we handled it better than we thought we would.  IUI #1 was probably the most difficult one though.  IUI #2, I shed some tears but again, took it better than expected.  It hurt but what could we do about it other than try again.  IUI #3, is where I really begin to feel like I am numb to it all.  I feel it is hard for me to cry about.  The first day, I shed a few tears right after I found out and then was done.  I can't believe how well I have taken things.  Honestly, I thought I would be a total emotional basket case after 3 failed IUI's.  I still can't believe we have actually been through 3 rounds of IUI and now I just wonder where our lives are leading us.  I guess after Tuesday we will HOPEFULLY start seeing a pathway to the end.  Today was definitely difficult to find out that we would have to re consult with the doctor but I think part of it was so difficult because it was so unexpected.  I think if we expected it, it wouldn't have hit so hard.  That also could be part of the reason that I feel numb to failed IUI's because I expect it.  It is hard to expect that we will ever be parents just because it has been such a long hard journey. 

The moral of all of this is God is going to lead you down some paths sometimes that you will wonder how and why you got there but in the end, even if that path doesn't give you success, it was in God's plan for your life before you were even brought into this world.  So grasp life by the horns and hold on because you just might be in for one heck of a crazy ride.

Another Fail!

I haven't really had the chance to post because I am now on Day shift and I have took up a new hobby of sewing which is taking up alot of my time.  This is such a wonderful thing since Trent went to days about a month ago.  Also, when and if we ever end up pregnant, I do not want to work nights with a baby.  We had tested on Tuesday and again, we got a negative.  I just talked to the doctors office and they have informed me that the after the 3rd failed try, the doctor did not want to refill any medications for us that he wanted to re consult with us to see what else could be done.  We are hoping it is just a med change or something like that but I have heard after multiple failed attempts that sometimes they will suggest going to in vitro.  We are stuck in a tough situation if they recommend going to that.  We are totally clueless and have no expectations on what could happen at this appointment.  We go on Tuesday so we will know by then what they are wanting to do.  Please keep us in your prayers as we feel totally blind sighted by this.  We did not expect this at all and now we hope we are faced with easy decisions as this whole thing as been so very difficult

I really don't have much to say about the fail.  Honestly, we had our hopes up for this round and really felt good about it but really, honestly, it came to no surprise to me that it was negative.  It just really feels that our dreams will never come true.

On to something happy right now, Trent got me a sewing machine and I have had the best time playing around and making things. 

I am so very excited about our upcoming Niece Kellen NaCole that I have been making her things and I knew I wanted a sewing machine to make more so everything I have made so far has been baby related.


My sister loved Strawberry Shortcake as a kid so I made
a small fleece blanket to hold and the back and
borders is satin.

Here is a cute set of things I made.  Blanket, Bib, Burp Cloths,
and a Diaper Changing Pad.

Burp Cloths

Bib

Diaper Changing Pad rolled up.  See picture below for more of this.

It unfolds into a pad to change them on.  Also, the bottom where you see
the design, it is a pocket to store wipes and a diaper or 2.
Seems like it will be pretty handy.

Anyways,  It is close to Christmas and this is our 3rd year childless and trying but we will make the best of it.  Atleast we have our family that is so very dear to us and knows and understands our situation and for the most part knows how difficult Christmas could be for us this year.

We hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas.  I am sure I will update before then but if not then Merry Christmas to everyone.

IUI # 3 = Could it be?

I honestly have not posted much about this procedure.  I normally blog when we are 1 week away from going to the doctor however it seems like time is just flying by and honestly, we have been trying to keep our mind off of all of it.  Apparently, keeping our mind off of it is working because I didn't even realize when we were a week away from going to the doctor.  On Thanksgiving day, I realized we were only 4 days away from going and I was in shock.  We couldn't believe it was already time to go back to the doctor and start all this over again.

We have never requested what vial we wanted to use, they have always just pulled a random vial and that is what we use however, going into today, we knew we wanted to request what vial to use.  For the last procedure, we only had to use 1 vial and we had 2 vials from the same date so we had 1 extra left from that specific date.  For the last procedure, we had better motile sperm counts than what we ever thought we would have since the first time was low so we knew we wanted to use the other vial from that same date.  When we got there today, we verified things, told them what vial we wanted to use and then would have to wait for an hour and a half for the thawing process.  About 50 minutes passed and they called us back. 

Anyways, we get back in the room and Kristin sits the chart down on the counter so we could verify everything was correct and verify it was the correct "Donor name" on the vial.  Well, everything was correct and then I got a glimpse of the chart and saw the best news possible.  Now if you will remember, they like to see 10 million motile sperm and for IUI #1, we used 2 vials and had 2.8 million motile sperm.  IUI #2, we used 1 vial and had 8.3 million motile sperm and we were tickled to death to know our numbers were so much better for that round.  Well, today, when I caught a glimpse of the chart, I see 11.9 million motile sperm in 1 vial.  We were absolutly beside ourselves and ecstatic that our numbers were above 10 million.  We had 3.6 million more motile sperm this time than last time and 9.1 million more this time than IUI #1.  Whoa, this was wonderful news!!!  She left the room, we said a prayer and then I got changed.  She came in, done procedure and it was done in no time. 

We now have 3 vials left 1 of which has low numbers and will most likely be like the first 2 vials and 2 of which may have decent numbers but will most likely be less than 10 million post thaw.  We are figuring that we would have 2 tries left but we are praying that we don't need those 2 extra tries.

In waiting room waiting to be called back for IUI #3

Right after IUI #3.  These pictures like these will always be so precious
to me.  Especially the one that it actually happened after.

 They have told us to test on December 13th so hopefully God will Bless us with such a wonderful Christmas Miracle of being pregnant with a sweet little bundle of joy.  It being so close to Christmas, I don't know if we will post right away with the results because if we are, we may want to make our announcement a little more special than on the blog. 

Anyways, just wanted to update everyone and let everyone know how it went.  We are very excited about IUI #3 as everything went very smoothly and our numbers were great but we will try again not to think much about it until testing time so we hopefully don't get our hopes up.  That is very difficulty though saying everything went so well.

Kidney Stones Again

Well, we now know why Trent was so sick on Monday.  We thought he might have had the horrible stomach virus that is going around however, he woke up at 330 this morning with sharp knife stabbing pains on his left side and he then passed 2 kidney stones. 

I just don't know what we are gonna do with the poor boy to get rid of the kidney stones that it seems he gets so often.  I honestly don't think there is much he can do.  Doctor has told him he can try to watch his diet but his are hereditary therefore diet probably wouldn't stop him from getting them.

Since passing the kidney stone, he is feeling much better and is pretty much back to normal today. 

Anyways, just wanted to update everyone on Trent's "sickness"

Update - Including Ultrasound from Today

"Follicular Ultrasound and IUI" update at end of blog.

We have been extremely busy lately with Thanksgiving and all.  We got to spend Thanksgiving with both families.  It started with us going to eat with Trent's family for lunch and then we headed to Manchester to spend a few days with my family.  My uncle and cousin and her family was up from North Carolina so it was nice to get to see them and spend time with them. 

My mom has wanted a train under her Christmas tree for several years now and while we were in Manchester, she found one on sale for half price at Home Depot so she just had to have it.  We got it to her house and set it up and me and Trent loved it so we went went and got one for our tree.

Tree with Train added under it.  The track can get
much bigger but we ended up going with the
round track.
We also now have presents under it too not showing in
the picture.

We also got our 2 new ornaments in too.

Police Officers Prayer Ornament.  We LOVE this one.  It is way cute.

2011 Traditional Ornament ball I get every year since Trent's been a cop.

On Black Friday, my neighbor texted and said she found a Sock Monkey Police ornament and she got it for us.  They have 3 kids and when they brought it over, it was in a Christmas bag and said From: The Abbott Kids.  It was so sweet of them to think about us as those kids just adore Trent.

Police Sock Monkey Ornament from the Abbott Kids

Yesterday, Trent woke up sick as a dog.  The urge to throw up woke him from his sleep and it was all down hill from there with Nausea, Vomitting, and Diarrhea all day.  We were scheduled to go in for our "Follicular Ultrasound" today so as of last night, we didn't know if Trent would feel well enoguh to make it to the appointment with me.  I half wondered if we wouldn't just put off the IUI this month if he wasn't any better.  He was not having it.  He was going no matter how sick he was and we were NOT cancelling procedure this month.  Well, we woke this morning and he still did not feel the best and he was weak but hadn't been to the bathroom at all since about 1045 last night.  He slept half way to the doctor and part of the way home too but we made it.  The ultrasound went pretty good.  I only had 1 good egg follicle as we did last time too so that was no surprise but again, it was a pretty good size one.  Again, they look for it to be atleast 18mm and it was at 22.5mm.  I don't know if I have ever mentioned it before or not but everytime I have been, they have told me that my uterine lining is good also.  I honestly don't know a whole lot about that stuff and what the numbers need to be but I know the uterine lining has to be good for implantation and for the baby to stick if it does implant so it's definatley good to know that my numbers are good on that.  We will be going back in tomorrow afternoon for the IUI.  I scheduled the ultrasound the very first thing this morning and then we scheduled tomorrows IUI as late as possible tomorrow afternoon so that will give us a larger gap in time after having the shot and the IUI than what we have previously had.  This time we will be having the IUI about 30-31 hours after the trigger shot so that gives us a couple more hours that what we have had.  I am glad there is a bigger gap for the sake of my fears on me maybe ovulating closer to the 36 hour mark after the shot. 

Hopefully we will end up pregnant this month and will have a wonderful Christmas and Christmas surprise for family.  This is also our last month to try and fulfill our New Years Resolution for this year of atleast being pregnant in 2011.  If its not fulfilled this year, I am sure it will probably be next years resolution too. 

IUI # 3 = Good Luck?  3's a charm right?  Hopefully

Anyways, I guess thats enough rambling for now.  I am sure I will most likely update everyone on how tomorrow goes. 

It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Welp, I can't believe it.  I actually did get in the Christmas spirit.  And before I hear it from anyone, I know, I should celebrate Thanksgiving first then deal with Christmas but this year, I better do it while I actually felt like it or it just wasn't going to get done and the next couple weeks are going to be very busy for me so I figured I might as well do it now. 

We are very excited about Thanksgiving though as we will get to spend it with family and some family that we haven't gotten to see in a while so we are very Thankful that we will have a family filled Thanksgiving.

This year, we aren't decorating the tree all pretty like we have the past 2 years.  My momma in law has came the past 2 years and helped us with the pretty blue and silver ribbon but this year, we aren't going to worry about it.  One because I am not good at it and I don't want to bother her with it and 2, We decided to just make it a police tree and not a fancy tree.  Last 2 years, we have done a big pretty tree and then a small police tree but not this year. 



Tree all decorated for now.  I would like to add blue
lights to it but Trent only wants clear.  It has all clear
lights, police ornaments, and blue and silver ball
ornaments.

 In 2005, the year Trent became a cop, I started a tradition for him and every year, I get him an ornament with the year on it.  I am slacking this year and just finally ordered his 2011 ball last night so we should be getting it soon.  

2005 Traditional Police Ornament

2006 Traditional Police Ornament

2007 Traditional Police Ornament

2008 Traditional Police Ornament

2009 Traditional Police Ornament

2010 Traditional Police Ornament

We also have other types of police ornaments on the tree (you can see part of one on the right side of the 2010 ornament picture) but the Traditional ornament I buy each year is always a big round one and then I randomly pick up other police ornaments when I see them and like them. 

I am so very happy I am starting to feel a little more in the Christmas mood.  Hopefully we will get some great news right before Christmas which will make it a WONDERFUL Christmas.  Our New Years resolution for this year was to at least be pregnant with our bundle of joy by the end of the year.  Hopefully December will be our lucky month and we can fulfill our resolution. 

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving and is feeling the Christmas spirit. 

Hero Hallway

Our Hallway has always been full of Police stuff.   It has always been called our Policeman Hallway.  In the picture below, the hallway originally started with everything hanging on the wall except for the shadow box hanging over the black table.  It also started with all the things on the floor except for the table full of stuff.

In the picture below, you can probably tell that we have a fireman figurine on the table which we bought at Uncle Kenny's benefit auction and thought the table was a perfect spot for it to fit in with Trent's police stuff.  On the middle shelf of the table, we also have a picture of Uncle Kenny's funeral of him on the firetruck going under the American Flag.  After Uncle Kenny passed away, we got a set of his white work gloves and we knew we wanted to do something nice and special with them so we put them in a shadow box with a picture of him in his fireman uniform and hung it in the hallway.  I have another pair of white gloves ordered and we will then hang a pair of Trent's white work gloves with a picture of him in a shadow box on the other side of the wall to even the wall back up. 

Here is Uncle Kenny's shadow box with his picture and gloves.

This has also always been hanging in our hallway since we moved in the house on a different wall.  It is a plaque my Uncle made me after he got back from Iraq for supporting him, writing him letters, and sending him things while he was there.  This plaque has always been very special to me and I always knew I wanted it hanging somewhere in my house and it just fit in perfect with our Police hallway.  

Since we now have Police, Firemen, and Military things hanging down our Hallway, we will just rename it from "Police Hallway" to Our "Hero Hallway".

I would like to get a curio cabinet to put back in the hallway to put the things on the table in because there are more things that we would like to put on the table and there are more things on the table that are hidden and you can't see.  So, if we had a curio cabinet back there, we could nicely display everything we wanted. 

Just wanted to show off our changes because I think it's all cute.

November 23rd - Thankful Day 23

We are Thankful for Health insurance.  Its not often that we really have to use it but we are thankful that we have it when we need it.  And just recently, it has been paying for something that was unexpected so, we are truly grateful for saving some money in one aspect we didn't know about.

Thank You God for blessing us with Health Insurance to help pay for our Medical bills.

November 22nd - Thankful Day 22

We are Thankful for our love for one another.  Our love is truly unbreakable.

Thank You God for blessing us with unconditional love for one another. 

Making a heart with our hands.

Kissing and making a heart with our hands

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

Please forgive me upfront as this blog is really random but just a few things I have on my mind about blogging.

My Trentie just gave me a great laugh. He is sitting over there playing Modern Warfare and I asked him if there was anything he wanted put on the blog and he responds with "That I love my wife". I said ok, is there anything else that you want put on there? He responds with "That I want to have a baby." I said, I assume that is all you want to put on there? He responds with "3rd times a charm". I guess it is time to quit asking him what he wants cause he is being silly. LOL. Boy oh boy. He sure is silly. I love that man so very much and I am blessed to just have him in my life whether we have a child or not. We have the perfect marriage!  What more could I ask for?  Of course, we want a child added to our family but as long as we have one another, we are blessed.

I don't think I have ever mentioned it on here but I did on facebook.  I am going to be an auntie again.  My sister has a little step son that is 8 but she is now a little over 18 weeks and due on April 22nd.  

Ultrasound at 7weeks 5 days.
Little "SueBob" as she is calling it for now.  We will find out in
December what she is having.  Hopefully a girl.

Well, the other day I had to go to Hobby Lobby to try and find a shadow box for something and while I was there, I thought about baby blankets so I went over to the crafts to see what I could find.  Not knowing what she is having, I knew I had to find something that would match for a boy or girl.  This is what I found, a Noah's Ark blanket to be cross stitched.

Noahs Ark Quilted Baby Blanket.  This is what it will
look like when it is done.

Almost everything you see in Blue needs to be done.
You can tell I haven't gotten much done yet.

I have totally finished the wording.  It is too cute.

I have done the sun, cloud, and part of the rainbow in
this picture.  The bottom line of the rainbow is
actually blue and I do have part of it done but you
can't tell to well since what I have to do is blue too.
I have it done though almost up to the cloud.

I only have 5 months to get this done if I give it to my sister but once I got the blanket and started on it, I thought it was just too cute and I thought that if I end up pregnant, I may just have to keep it for myself.  So, who knows who the blanket will actually be for.  She does know about it but she also knows that we don't know who's it is yet.  I really really want to give it to her but I also think it would be something very special for our child since we have tried so hard to have one. 

I am so bad about starting craft projects and not being able to finish them.  I right now have 3 cross stitchings started.  One almost done that I have been working on forever, this one which will take a lifetime to finish and another one that I have barely done anything on that will wait until I am totally finished with this and the other thing before even starting back on it.  I also have 2 crotchet blankets that I have started in which will probably never get finished either.  I really need to quit starting new things.

Anyways, on to Christmas.  I could not believe I had these thoughts but last night, I actually wanted to put up our Christmas tree.  We may do that tonight or tomorrow.  I have been very whiny about Christmas this year but for some reason, yesterday just gave me a whole new outlook on Christmas this year.  As everyone knows, I have really been dreading it this year due to this possibly being our 3rd Christmas trying without a child.  We will be testing so close to Christmas that this year could be great but could also be horrible.  Well, yesterday I went into WalMart and they told me "Happy Holidays"  This really irked me and I didn't say it yesterday because technically right now it is "Holidays" since we are getting ready for Thanksgiving and it's not Christmas yet but you better bet, in December, I will be responding to these people "Merry Christmas to you too."  There wouldn't even be such a thing as Christmas without CHRIST so why in this world is everyone taking Christ out of Christmas.  I just don't get it.  Well, in all of this thought process it really hit me.  Why am I whining about Christmas?  Christmas is about Christ and child or childless, we should be grateful to God for dying on the cross for our sins.  Of course the closer Christmas gets, I am still going to be down about not having a child.  After all, Christmas is about Christ and family time and we want nothing more than to spend a Christmas with a child but yesterday just really set in to me that I need to quit whining and be Thankful regardless because we truly are blessed. 

If I don't blog before then, I hope everyone has a Wonderful Thanksgiving.  We will have a good Thanksgiving with our families.  Thursday we will be spending it with Trent's family going to eat at Crocket park and then Thursday night we will be going to Manchester for the weekend.  Some of my family from North Carolina is coming in so it will be nice to spend some time with them.  Friday we are going to see Jeff Dunham in Nashville and we are very excited about that as we have been wanting to see him live for a long time.  Boy, we sure have a busy 2 weeks ahead of us as we have Thanksgiving, family, doctors appointments, and then before we know it, it will be Christmas time.

November 21st - Thankful Day 21

We are Thankful for means of transportation.  We are so thankful for our dependable vehicles and being able to drive back and forth to work or where we need or want to go.

Thank You God for blessing us with means of transportation.

November 20th - Thankful Day 20

Today we are Thankful for having such similar intrest in the things we love to do together.  Golfing, baseball games, chilling by firepit, and playing games together, etc.

Thank You God for blessing us in similar intrest for us to love doing things together.

November 19th - Thankful Day 19

We are Thankful for our eyesight and hearing.  My eyes may be horrible and I may have to wear glasses but Thank God, I can see with them on.  We all may have some selective hearing sometimes but Thank God, we can hear if we wanted to. 

Thank You God for blessing us with vision and hearing.

Here we go Again!

Well, yesterday was CD1 therefore I start my Clomid back tomorrow on CD3.  I will take it for 5 days as usual and then we go in on CD13 - November 29th for our first ultrasound to check the egg follicles. 

When I called the doctors office this morning, I actually talked to Lisa (the nurse who has been doing our IUI's) and in a sad voice she said "I got your message, I was just thinking about you the other day.  I knew I should be hearing from you soon."  You could tell that she was even disappointed to hear that I had started and it hadn't happened yet.  Anyways, I had asked her about sperm not living as long if it were frozen and thawed and she said that in the 8 years that she has worked at NFC that she has never heard of that or noticed it making any kind of difference.  I had then asked her about maybe doing what I suggested with back to back ultrasounds until we tell for sure that I have ovulated and she said that we could most definitely do that if we wanted to but she didn't think that it would help to time it any better.  We talked about a couple options and so we will just see how it all plays out after our original ultrasound on the 29th and we will go from there.  I figured the day we have ultrasound, I would ask someone elses opinion on the way I wanted to do it just to see what kind of answer I will get from them and that might help decide a little more of what we want to do for sure.  We are half tempted though to just do it our way regardless just to see what happens.  You never know.

Since things may be done a little different this time, I am assuming IUI#3 will be any time from November 30th - December 1st.  Possibly the 2nd but we will see. 

We are hanging in there and taking everything one day at a time.  I pray that this is our last cycle with IUI as it has been so very emotionally, financially, physically draining.  We are honestly doing pretty good and took the news of the negative very well.  Much better than expected since everything was so hopeful this month. 

On another note, I am noticing more and more the older I get just how Thankful for things I am.  Never take the small things for granted for they may be huge things to someone else.  Just over the past few days, things have happened that just overflow my heart with Thankfulness.  There are just some things in life that we will never be able to express enough thankfulness and appreciation for.  Over the past few days, I think the Lord has really been working on me and it is amazing to see how life unfolds. 

I feel like I get to preaching lately but here is Brother Mickey's sermon from last Sunday on Faith to Forgive.  http://www.mymarshill.org/media.php?pageID=23  It was a great sermon that really spoke to me. 

Hope everyone else is doing well.

November 18th - Thankful Day 18

We are SO Thankful for Our Strong Marriage.  If I have said it once, I have said it a million times.  I NEVER knew marriage would be so easy.  Through all that we have been through in the past year, it has only made us stronger.  I am truly blessed to have such an amazing man to wake up beside each and every day.

Thank you God for Blessing us with one heck of an awesomely amazing Strong Marriage

November 17th - Thankful Day 17

Today we are Thankful for Life Challenges / Our Journey / Hard Times - They've made us stronger and wiser and made the good times even better.  We have became better people through it all.

Thank You God for giving us Challenges in life to learn from and grow from.

BIG FAT NEGATIVE

Well, I still haven't started so we took another test today and it came back a BIG FAT NEGATIVE just as expected.  I am sure some are thinking well you haven't started yet so you could still be but I have cycles that range from 27-33 days and today I am on CD30 therefore I am still not late.  Again, I feel it coming therefore we pretty much know it is gonna happen.

We are preparing for IUI #3 and will be doing it again this month or beginning of next whenever the 2 weeks fall after CD1.  We have decided that we won't take a break.  We are just so ready to be parents that we are going to do whatever it takes to make it happen. 

I am going to suggest we do things a little differently this time.  I hope they will agree with me and I feel as a patient that it should be our choice and if we are willing to spend the extra money then that should be up to us.  I wanted to do it for IUI #2 however, I thought I was just being silly but the more I think about it, the more I really feel like I should atleast suggest it.  Usually the routine is go in on CD13 or 14 to check the egg follicles and if they are ready, get the Ovidrel trigger shot and return the next day for IUI.

Now, let me break things down a little.  After the Ovidrel shot, you should ovulate 24-36 hours later.  Thawed sperm does not live even half as long as fresh sperm does.  According to California CryoBank Lab Managers- Washed sperm is supposed to only live for 6-12 hours, but sometimes as long as 24 so the ideal window is really within 6-12 hours of the egg being released.  We have had IUI #1 approx 24-25 hours after the shot and IUI #2 approx 28-29 hours after the shot.  So, my question is are we not timing it perfect?  Am I actually ovulating more around that 36 hour window instead of 24?  Remember, I do have long cycles so this is very possible for me (in my mind atleast I feel like I am thinking straight). 

So here is my suggestion for them which I feel is totally legitimate.  Go in CD 13 or 14 as usual and if everything looks good, go ahead and get the Ovidrel trigger shot which should make me ovulate 24-36 hours later.  Go back in the next day, and instead of automatically having IUI, have another ultrasound to see if I have ovulated and if I have, go ahead and do IUI.  If I have not ovulated, schedule an appointment to return again the next day and do another ultrasound to see if I have ovulated.  Keep repeating ultrasounds until I have ovulated and then do IUI the day that the ultrasound shows ovulation.  I think the most we should have to do is 3-4 ultrasounds.  1 to check egg follicles and then 2-3 to see if I have ovulated.  Doing the numerous ultrasounds will GUARANTEE ovulation and a better timed IUI.

Please if I am thinking crazy, someone tell me but we feel like my thoughts behind all this is totally legitimate. 

Please continue to keep us in your prayers as I know everyone has but we are just so ready for everything to happen and fall right into place.  We absolutely could not have a better Christmas present than to find out we are expecting right at Christmas.  Of course calculations are ranging because I don't know when CD1 is or what day IUI #3 will be yet but it appears we will be testing 5-10 days prior to Christmas.  We pray we will have us a wonderful Christmas instead of a miserable one.

November 16th - Thankful Day 16

Today as we get ready to face another round of IUI, we are so very Thankful that we have been able to financially afford infertility up to this point. We are not rich by any means but going through this journey with infertility has been VERY expensive and we are just blessed beyond belief that we have been able to have the funds to pay for it all thus far. We are Thankful and blessed that we are as young as we are and have still been able to pursue having a child even through the expenses of it all.

Thank you God for blessing us financially to have a child. Now, we just pray that we are able financially to give the child the life they deserve after the financial strain it has took to get the child here.

November 15th - Thankful Day 15

We are Thankful for the daily food and water that we are able to eat and nourish our bodies with. 

Thank you God for blessing our home with food and not having to go without.

Steak, Grilled onions, vegies, rice, potatoes and breadstick.

November 14th - Thankful Day 14

Oh what a silly thing to be Thankful for but we are Thankful for Laughter.  Laughter sure does make the world a better and happier place.  I know my home is full of happiness and laughter.  My hubby is the best at making anyone laugh.  Even when all you want to do is cry, he will make you laugh.

Thank You God for blessing us with a home full of laughter.

Negative???

I woke up this morning and had tomorrow on my mind since we were supposed to test tomorrow.  Since I had this on my mind, I was unable to go back to sleep and had to get up in about another hour to get ready for church so I though What the heck, lets just test now and if it is positive, it will be a wonderful way to wake Trent up to tell him he is going to be a daddy.  I tested and it was negative.

Yes, I tested a day earlier than they told me to.  Yes, I tested at least 2 days earlier than what I thought I should.  So, could this be a false negative?  Absolutely!!!  We will give it a few days, probably until Wednesday or Thursday and then if I have not started, I will test again.  The other day, I was cramping, not bad but I was therefore, in my mind, we are not pregnant.  If I don't end up starting in a few days and it comes back positive, it will then be one heck of a surprise.

As far as taking next month off, we are seriously considering it.  I want to talk to the doctors office and have some questions answered such as, Will it effect the success rate if we take a month off?  I don't see how it could but if it helps your success rates to do it consecutive months in a row, we will absolutely suck it up and go back at it in December.  If it will not effect success rates, we will possibly sit out December and start back in January.  This whole process is so very emotional and difficult that we kinda feel we need a break through the holidays.  By my calculations, if we done a procedure in December, we would be testing approx 10 days before Christmas and Christmas is already going to be difficult enough so we don't want another possible negative right before Christmas.  I kinda feel like we should suck it up and just do it but then again, it will be nice not to have to worry about all the drama of medications, doctors appointments, procedure, 2WW, etc. 

I am gonna be silly now.  Caffiene can effect egg production so I have had no coke since July 4th and I have had no Tea since sometime in August.  Which means I have drank NO CAFFIENE for 3 months.  I am tired of drinking water but I wouldnt let myself have anything going through procedures.  Well, if we sit December out, you better bet I am gonna have me a big ol' sweet tea.  I still won't drink coke but I do hear a sweet tea calling my name.  But ONLY if we sit out a month.

This journey has been so very difficult, all I can keep my eyes on is knowing that once we do have our child, it will be one heck of a reward after all we have been through.

Just wanted to update everyone on what we know now.  I will update everyone later when we find something out for sure and when decisions are made.

November 13th - Thankful Day 13

I feel so guilty for saying this right now but when something hits home, it makes you more thankful for what you have. I am Thankful God brings my husband home to me each and every day after work. 

Please keep Lawrence County Emergency personnel in your prayers as one of our Deputies has been in a bad car accident doing his job.

November 12th - Thankful Day 12

We are Thankful for Family and Frinds that has been so supportive and praying for us, giving words of encouragement and just for being so thoughtful through our journey.

Thank You God for blessing us with so many great people in our lives that truely love us and care for us.

November 11th - Thankful Day 11

We are Thankful for Emergency Personnel workers and Military.  Obviously I am partial to cops who I am so very thankful for for our safety but lets not forget the Firemen and EMS/Paramedic workers also to come to our aide when there is a fire or when we are hurt or sick.  And our Military.  We can't forget about them.  Happy Veterans Day to all Military past, present and future.  THANK YOU for serving our country.

I want to say a quick Thank you to my Wonderful hubby Trent for the wonderful police job he does.  I will forever be so very proud of him and the job he does.  Also to my cousin Jamey for his police work and all the other Law Enforcement I know.
A Thank you to Trent's uncle Kenny who served as a local fireman.  Ben Smith a friend who is a firemen and all the other firemen out there.
A Thank You again to Trent's uncle Kenny who was a volunteer EMS worker, Ben Smith and Miranda Sanders as they are paramedics also.  And to any other paramedic/EMS worker out there.
A Thank You to My Uncle who is a Command Sergeant Major in the Military and also BJ Schoff who was killed while on duty in Iraq and will never be forgotten.  Also to all other Military that I know and don't know.

Thank You God for blessing us with Emergency Personnel and Military who will always be there when needed.

November 10th - Thankful Day 10

We are so very Thankful for our Immediate families.  Family is the best thing in our lives other than one another.  We Thank our wonderful parents for raising us to be who we are and teaching us morals and values in life.  Our siblings for always being there for us.

Thank You God for blessing us with amazing parents and siblings that we can always call on when needed.

November 9th - Thankful Day 9

We are very Thankful for our Vacations that we have been able to take.  We have been fortunate enough to take atleast 1 vacation a year since we have been married.  Some of the vacations have been much needed to help get our mind off of other things.  We have gotten to experience and see many new places together which we truly enjoy.  We just love to go on trips whether they are long or short get aways.  Getting away has always been great for us.

Thank You God for blessing us with our vacations and being able to explore different places.

Just a few places we have visited, you can see below.

Gatlinburg

St Louis



In Boston at Fenway Park



Cruises to several different places